


Death Wishes: a Twilight and Hunger Games

by TheCullensForever



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-05-18 07:58:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5909092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCullensForever/pseuds/TheCullensForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella Swan bitterly hates Carlisle Cullen for not helping her father when he most needed it, causing the loss of her father. When she is chosen at the Reaping to go into the Hunger Games with Edward Cullen, she sees her chance to exact her revenge. But is it really fair to take out the wrath on the son, when it is meant for the father?</p><p>Bella also has a weakness, one that no Career should have. She has to work to keep it a secret, so she doesn't fall to the mercy of the other Careers in the Hunger Games. Except they don't have mercy. And all secrets are meant to be revealed.</p><p>Edward Cullen is a vampire so he is indifferent when he is chosen during the Reapings. But there's more trouble for him than he thought as he prepares for the Games. There, he falls in love with one of the contestants. And EVERYONE knows only one person comes out alive; it'll have to be him with his impenetrable skin. So he is forced to take the offer given to him by someone suspicious to rescue this other person and it throws them into a deadly situation. With no way out.</p><p>© 2015 By Helina</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Author's Note

I own nothing. This is just playing around with Suzanne Collins' idea and Stephenie Meyer's characters. They own everything. Except the plot and the characters I made up.

 

The characters are entirely fictitious and any relation to any personnel is purely coincidental.

 

Also, I am only 12 years old and this is my first book ever so don't judge too harshly, okay? Thank you very much for reading my book! It means a lot to me.

 


	2. Prologue

I haven't thought to how she would die and how I would do it with her though there was reason enough during the last few days.

Now I must find a way to join her. Because, I think now, maybe I wasn't meant to live. Maybe I _was_ an abomination, a mistake unlike what Bella thought I was. _Bella._ That name hurts to think about. I couldn't not have been made to live. I can't live, especially not now. In that split second, I decided. I will join my Bella.


	3. Chapter 1- the Reaping

** Bella's POV **

_How did I get this fate? What did I do in my previous life to deserve this?_ , I thought as my mom brought the whip down again. I gritted my teeth together to keep from screaming. It burns so much!

Ever since my father died, my evil mom has been using me as a slave. It hurts, emotionally and physically. At Charlie's orders, Renee had put up a kind-mom facade and I had loved her the way a daughter loves her mother. Now, with my dad, the person keeping her in chains from her horrible actions, gone, she is showing me the monster she is and it was not a pretty picture behind the scenes. Her words and actions were like daggers to my heart.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity and after my back felt like somebody set it on fire and is stoking it with every hit, she told me to go to bed so I could go to the Reaping the next day. I followed her orders willingly. I stumbled to the little cupboard that was my bedroom and slipped gingery into bed, letting out a pained hiss when my back hit my bed. I waited for sleep to come for hours, staring at the ceiling and wondering what situation I would be in if my dear and loving father hadn't died. After 5 hours, sleep still didn't come though. I knew I couldn't close my eyes. Every time I do, Charlie's death during his duty- Peacekeepers were chosen to come from our District so we could escape the poverty everybody but the Capitol people is in- would replay behind my eyelids. I did anyway and I saw _this_ :

It was snowing and the square in front of the Justice Building was packed with people, Peacekeepers and the people who lives in the District. The people were fighting- a rebellion- and the Peacekeepers were working to keep it under control. An officer called to Charlie, who was also in white uniform, but it is drowned out by gunshots. The mayor of District 8, aimed a gun at Charlie but he didn't notice. He is too busy working to keep the order in the upper ranks of the District's society. _Move!_ , I wanted to shout at him, knowing what happens next. Another gunshot rang out and my wonderful father is falling, blood pouring out of where the bullet has found it mark in his chest and staining his white Peacekeeper suit and the snow around him a dark red. A man walked by in the background. I recognized him as Doctor Carlisle Cullen- I had asked who it was when they told me Charlie was never coming back- but he is holding his nose, breathing through his mouth. He didn't stop to help Charlie even though he is a doctor and probably knew how. He passes by hurriedly and I saw the light slowly leaves my father's eyes, leaving them blank and dead. _No! No, no, no, no, NO! Help him you freaking idiot and coward!_ , I screamed inside my head at Carlisle while I watch the horrible replay. 

I opened my eyes. The strip of cloth that was my bed was wet from the tears that are streaming from my eyes.

 _I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU, Carlisle Cullen!  You should have helped him. I wouldn't have ended up like this and Charlie would have still been alive. I hate you, I hate you,_ I HATE YOU _! I_ will _get revenge one day._ , I chanted bitterly to myself as I cry myself to sleep. 

* * *

I wake up to the light of dawn shining through the window, Today was a no work day- once a year for me since two years ago. Today was Reaping Day. If I was not chosen to go into the Hunger Games where people kill the other people so they can win the Games and which I have been training for since I was 8, I would volunteer. I couldn't live like this anymore. If I win, I could live in Victors' Village away from my horrid mother. If I die, I'll see my father. That year was my last chance to go into the Games before I get too old, anyway, so I decided, with reluctance but also conviction, to go into the Games.

At that precise moment, my mom bustled in with a brisk pace, gave me a resentful glare, and told me to get dress. I obeyed- "Yes, Your Highness, I will start immediately."-, not willing to get another whipping. With clumsy hands, I changed out of my bloodstained clothes into the dress that is one size too small for me. I made my mom breakfast before walking all the way to the Reaping- two and a half hours of power walking. 

I arrived, legs aching with exhaustion, did what I have to do and joined the 18-year-old girls in their sections. Nobody looked at me.

As usual, we see the propaganda film about war that rampaged our country 80 years ago, the creation of the Games to keep order in the districts after the war, the job of the different districts, the destruction of District 13.

After the short video is over, the escort, who's name I didn't know and didn't bother to learn, announced- "Ladies first."- the girl was to be chosen.

She walked over to the girls' side and pulled out one small piece of paper from the glass bowl and opened it.

I held my breath. My heart was pounding and the blood was rushing in my ears. Who would it be? It couldn't be me because if I was chosen, other people would volunteer for me, obliterating my last chance at the Games.

"Renesmee Black.", she called in a clear voice.

I knew her. Renesmee was a 12-years-old girl with brown hair and eyes along with a kind heart and positive emotions and lives with her brother, Jacob Black, next door to us. She looked more like me than Jacob.

Jacob and I had been good friends until I was banned from seeing anyone by my vile mother. I was a little glad because Jacob was starting to make disturbing advances and I was not ready, not after my father's death.

I saw Renesmee walking up the steps with shaking legs, a look of pure terror on her perfect, angelic, cute face.

 _Renesmee is too young and so scared._ , I thought. _And I want to go anyway._

I forced myself to make my voice loud and clear but also not be shaky when I said, "I volunteer as tribute."

"Very well! We have a volunteer! Please come on up. Come on. Come on!", the frilly woman chirped.

I made my way eagerly to the platform and replaced Renesmee on the platform, earning myself a smattering of applause.

She declared the boy was going to be chosen next. "Seth Clearwater."

Jacob Black, who looks nothing like Renesmee but still claims to be her brother, with his black hair and bulging muscles along with his sarcasm and annoying attitude, clearly not wanting his best friend to get the glory of winning volunteered. Or maybe he wanted to show me how good he is. I didn't care; I should have been flattered by his attention- most of the girls think he's handsome but I didn't think so- but I wasn't. He had grown to be super arrogant and that was one of the many traits I hate about a person.

He is welcomed on to the platform.

"Congratulations to our District 2 tributes this year. Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favor.", the escort trilled in farewell. The people clapped politely for us as we turned to leave.

Peacekeepers appeared from behind us to take us away and I felt the tears pricking in my eyes when I saw their uniform; it reminded me so much of Charlie and the cause he died for.

 _My mother might actually be glad that she's getting rid of me at last._ , I thought bitterly, musing over the fact that she hated me from the very first moment of my birth. That thought still stung after all she did to me.

Replacing the searing thought of death and my mom with the thought of seeing my father again, I turned to follow the Peacekeepers through the door, knowing nobody would be coming to say goodbye to me.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


** Edward's POV **

I tried to block the voices and thoughts ringing in my head as I step out of my car into the Reaping square. My gift could be very annoying sometimes.

Unfortunately, the sun was shining fiercely above us and we absolutely have to attend this stupid- I shouldn't say that but it was very troublesome for us to attend- Reaping. Carlisle and Esme, my loving and sometimes overprotective parents, had forced all of us to dress in an outfit where we were covered from head to toe. We, the children, had all argued that we would stand out because it was May 8th, almost the end of spring and start of summer and we were dressed like we were going to track across a snow-caked mountain! They had still won the argument they said standing in the sun with our skin sparkling like diamonds would have stood out more. They had a point and we had given up though that doesn't make it any easier. I bit my tongue, wincing as my fangs cut into my tongue, to keep myself from complaining about being bundled up like this when I didn't need to be.

As usual, we had to give them a blood sample and, like every year since 80 year ago, we planned to give them a fake because their needles weren't made to pierce our strong and diamond-like skin and we don't want anyone to suspect what we truly are. Jasper, Emmett and I, the boys from our family, joined the line where the women would be getting "our" blood sample so we could flatter them and get away with the fact that we were not giving blood straight from our body while Alice and Rosalie got in line to do the same thing.

"Hello. Hold out your hand.", the woman said.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. Because of a few problems, I had to do it at home. Is that okay?" I gave her a smile.

I heard her breath falter.The woman looked at me suspiciously. I listened carefully to her thoughts. _What does he want? Why does he and his family do this every year? But he does look so handsome. Maybe he'll pay attention to me and like me if I let him pass. I bet he would give me everything I want. Ah.... The possibilities this young man can give me. Promotions, attention, popularity...._

I stiffened to refrain from shuddering at her thoughts.

"Very well.", she said stiffly, and putting a dip of the blood into the book.

"Thank you. Can you please do the same thing for my brothers?", I asked her, flashing her another smile. I blocked off her thoughts this time, not wanting to be disgusted again.

"I- Yes.", she muttered.

"Thank you.", I gave her one last smile before walking away.

I hated the way the humans react to us, our beauty or handsomeness, our charm, everything. It may become useful at times but I still hated it. Crystal clear memories of all the humans I have charmed and killed before committing to Carlisle's cause again swirled in my head. They couldn't see what was behind the mask, they couldn't see the truth and believed the lie, not knowing that we were one of the most dangerous predators there is.

I joined the 18-year-old, the age we were pretending to be though I was a lot older, boys, Jasper and Emmett right behind me. We received hostile glares, strange stares as the people question why we were wearing such wrong clothes for today's weather- I had on a cap that cast a long shadow across my face, a scarf wrapped tightly around my neck, a long, thick black coat and sweatpants to keep out the sunshine- and jealous thoughts swirled around in my head. Ugh. How I hate crowds! If I could get headaches, being in a crowd where there is so much people and so much thoughts would give me one.

_Why are they wearing such strange clothing?_

_I bet they got and trampled across every girls' heart in school._

_Look at them. All perfect and handsome. How I hate the Cullens. Though I have to admit they do have manners._

_Whoa! They're so cool! I've got to talk to them one day!_

_Oh my God, oh my god, oh my god. I hate today! I hate the Reaping! I'm so scared! I don't want to have a chance to go into the Games and be killed brutally. Please, let it don't be me, just anyone but me. Pick my sister or brother for all you want. Just not me. At least this year is my last year in the Reaping._ I frowned at that thought. How could anyone be so selfish?

Blocking out the voices in my head until it was reduced to a small hum, I start to notice other things. Everywhere, my vampire sense of hearing catches the chugging of factories and my vampire sense of smell picked up the industrial fumes of pollution. I hated it here- with the fact that I could barely come out in the day or I had to bundle up like I am now- and I longed for Forks with its beautiful greenery and clean air but my parents insisted to stay here because they have to keep peace with the President and the Capitol and not be exposed. Alice and Rosalie, both obsessed with clothes, demanded that we live in District 8. I really liked the winter here when I could come out whenever I liked, with the sun covered by snow clouds. I noticed that Jasper and Emmett had disappeared but I was not bothered. I would find them easily after the Reaping was over.

The escort walked up the platform cheerfully. The film/short video played on the big screens set up around the square and the Reaping begins. "Ladies first." The escort stumbled in her high heels to the bowl with the girls' names. Reaching in with one gloved hand, she picked up a slip of paper and pulled it out. "Sashya Denali" The very dear cousin, almost mother, of Tanya, Irina and Kate Denali walked up the steps. She was also 18.

The boys was chosen next. She pulled out another piece of paper and called out in a clear voice, "Edward Cullen." Me.

There was nothing but indifference- because I _would_ win the Games no matter how hard the humans try-, surprise- because I didn't expect to be chosen- and annoyance- because I would have to work extra hard to keep up the human facade now and it's more than annoying to pretend to cower in front of the Careers, trying to act like the defenseless boy from District 8 I was pretending to be. I walked up the steps on to the platform and tried to silence the thoughts in the people's heads.

"Any  volunteers? Anyone?" I could detect the faint disappointment in her voice as she looked at me. Her thoughts were so inappropriate and disgusting, I would have thrown up if I could. Nobody volunteered as it so often happened during the Reaping.

"Alright then. Congratulations to the tributes of the year! Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favor."

Peacekeepers led us out and I dutifully followed. My family would be saying a goodbye during the time they give them. It would not be the last time I see them, I was sure, because of my indestructibility.

If only I had known what would happen in the near future. I would not have thought that way if I did.


	4. Chapter 2- Mentors

** Bella's POV **

I sat in the chair by the table, waiting for an escort to come and get me since nobody will be saying goodbye to me. Tears stung my eyes when I remember my dad's words when I was almost chosen at 13 but somebody else volunteered for me: "You will win the Games one day, I know you will. You'll do it spectacularly too. They will never forget you. And when you win, I'll be there to see it, hug you for it and celebrate with you."

Yeah. So much for being here to hug me and celebrate with me if I win.

As I sat there, trying not to dwell on the fact that no one was coming to say goodbye and wish me luck, I wondered who the other tributes from the other districts are. I mulled over the fact that I must get revenge on the Cullens one day. To kill time because I was bored, I sat devising a strategy/plan to kill them, just for fun, of course, because they lived in a different district.

I was finally collected and led to a grand train. A little while after that, I was led, by an Avox, a mute servant, to my bedroom, a very large and very luxurious room but nothing I haven't seen before in 2.

Jacob and I had dinner at a mahogany table, with countless courses of food. Still, nothing new due to the high standards of my mother before I was a slave.

After we were done with dinner, me packed to the brim with food out of courtesy of our escort, our mentors introduced themselves.

Jane and Alec Volturi, daughter and son of President Aro Volturi, who won in different years, were two of the many victors.

Jane was small, like a child but when you look at her, you don't see a child with the happy bubbling laughter and golden happiness. Instead, you'll see a lethal and  ruthless enemy. Her blood red eyes watched us carefully, taking in the way we moved and probably formulating the best way to kill us due to what she observed. Her blond hair was tied in an elegant bun at the back of her head. She was angelically beautiful but her expressionless face  deterred her beauty. No wonder she won. She could have easily stun a teenage boy with her beauty and she was merciless enough to kill them.

Alec was almost exactly the same with the exception of brown hair instead of blond.

"Greetings. I'm Jane and Alec Volturi. We will be your mentors this year.", they said in monotonous unison before settling themselves at the table and starting to eat. They were graceful, their movements sinuous.

They were silent so we were too.

In the awkward silence that followed, I tried to remember which year they won. Jane won 8 years ago, at the age of 16 but she volunteered and re-entered during the Quarter Quell of the 75th Hunger Games where the tributes are reaped from the pool of victors. She killed ruthlessly, just like her brother.

Alec won one year before but at the same age. He didn't enter the Quarter Quell but the year he was in the Games, it was extra violent and torturous for the other tributes as Alec hunted each of them down before killing them painfully.

I shuddered at the thought. I know I'll never want to be in the same Games as they were in. I remembered from watching the Games that Alec was more careful, calm and rational than Jane, her temper and arrogance nearly getting her killed in the Quarter Quell against other victors. I didn't want to see the full wrath of her fury. Ever.

They glided gracefully to their rooms when they're done, giving us no advice or a second glance. I watch them leave the room.

I didn't trust or like them. They were cruel, brutal and ruthless. There was a big possibility that they'll end up thinking I was not worth the time. Then, they'll stop helping me with the sponsors and people say that sponsors are the difference between life and death. _My_ mentors are definitely too cruel to help anyone in the arena.

That thought aroused more panic than I thought it would. What if I die? I didn't want to die! I wanted to live a life, have an education, fall in love, marry and have children!

 _Nobody in 2 will want you. Not with your mother the witch. Even if someone did, which I highly doubt, your mother wouldn't let you. Live with the fact and reality instead of you dreams, girl. And even if Renee let you, there's the possibility that you can die in the arena, which I highly think is possible,with your mentors and incapability and all. ,_ said a snide little voice in the back of my head.

I tried to shush it but I knew what it said was true, so instead, I tried dwelling on the positive and my dreams.

It would be so nice to have some savior rescue me out of the arena before I get killed and when I returned home, have my mom be a kind mom who would take care of me instead of the cold, stony, emotionless monster that dominated my house right now.

I lost my appetite at the thought of my mom and death in the arena when dwelling on the positive didn't work so I left the room.

I looked at my room more closely this time. My bedroom was huge. There was a screen with different pictures and using the remote, I chose one that fitted my personality the best- a training room that looked a lot like the one I practiced with my father in. Luxurious bed and velvet covers, large bathroom with lots of buttons to serve different purposes. I didn't give them a second glance.

Laying on the luxurious bed and velvet covers that I was so used to before being transformed into a slave, I wondered and thought about my life and how it changed two years ago. Why had Jacob change so much when my father died? I had no longer paid attention to the blabbing nonsense that flows out of Jacob's mouth these days. I realized how much I resented him. Why? Why had he changed the way he did? Why can't he be the friendly boy that I befriended years ago? Why was my mom so cold-hearted? What have I done to her that caused her to hate me from the bottom of her heart besides the obvious reason?

I fell asleep wondering and asking myself questions that I can't answer, which is better than seeing Charlie's death and crying my heart out again. My biggest question that matters the most but the answer of which only fate can tell: Will I survive?

** Edward's POV **

I waited in the room for my family. There was no need since I would be able to survive anyway. Unless there was another vampire from another district who's better at combat than I am which has a not-very-high chance.

My family burst in through the door.

 _Hey bro, kick some butts for me, will ya?,_ Emmett thought.

I nodded.

 _Always remember to never turn your back to your enemy and follow my instructions, alright? Good luck.,_ Jasper instructed.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, Jasper."

 _You'll do fine, Edward. I have faith in you.,_ Esme, my kind mother, thought as she entered.

"Thanks, Mom."

 _Son, good luck. Stay away from the humans in case they attack you and find out you're different.,_ Carlisle, my father, warned me.

 _What is with all these "goodbye"s and "good luck"s? He'll come back anyway. He's a vampire and nobody knows so winning would be so easy for him! I want to get home and change into something more fashionable or charm someone to make new clothes for me. This outfit is just yucky. But my golden hair is so beautiful. I'll have to wash it again because of the stupid hat.,_ thought Rosalie, my very shallow sister. I know that deep down, she cares for all of us, but right now, I couldn't see it. Her brother was going to go into _the Hunger Games_! But she also had a point. I _would_ survive. I'm indestructible, strong and fast. Or so I thought.

Alice showed me a vision of my meeting with a girl with brown hair.

"Who is she?", I asked Alice.

"Isabella Swan who lost her father, Charlie Swan, at sixteen when he was killed in an uprising in District 8.", she replied matter-of-factly.

I was surprised.

"Can you please apologize for me? I feel so guilty about her father.", said Carlisle, guilt lacing his voice.

I nodded.

At that precise moment, Peacekeepers charge through the door and led them out harshly.

"Thank you, son. Good luck and bye for now!", Carlisle called before leaving.

_By the way, try not to become particularly fond of anybody going with you into the arena. It'll just hurt you more when they die._

The door closed behind them with a ominous sound. 

I didn't bother listening to the Peacekeepers' thoughts as I was led out.

I met with Sashya Denali and we were led on to a train. I followed an Avox, a cruel punishment of the Capitol, to my bedroom.

Sashya and I were seated at a banquet table overflowing with countless courses. Human food smelled so bad. Sashya dug in but I held back, not wanting to throw up later.

Our mentors arrived and introduced themselves. Cecelia and Woof, both human, settled down at the table. They gave Sashya as much advice as they possibly could while they ate.

Cecelia had dark hair. I remember she won a decade or so ago. She knew how to weave and made clothes so she wove together vines to form deadly traps that killed most of the tributes. The others turned on each other and died fighting.

Woof won a few decades ago. He was not a very good fighter but he was very charismatic, like my brother, Jasper, so it was probably a good thing we had him as a mentor so he could convince people to sponsor us.

I tuned out everything and just sat there so I could sit devising a way to tell Isabella Swan sorry in silence.

I mentioned that I want to go check out my "cool" room- I sounded like a 7-years-old-, with the proper amount of enthusiasm.

It was luxurious, with velvet covers and a gigantic bathroom full of supplies. The space was almost bigger than my entire house! I was very shocked but I didn't care about finding out what each button in the bathroom does to you.

There was a screen and I chose a forest one that reminded me so much of the little town in the Olympic Peninsula, Forks, before it was destroyed and Panem rose.

Laying down, staring at the ceiling, knowing I would never be able to sleep, I turned over my family's parting words in my head and waited for morning.

 

 


	5. Chapter 3- Tribute Parade

Bella's POV

My bright, too-cheerful, and annoying escort woke me up early next morning. I had gotten more sleep than before and I was ready to start whatever it is that we were going to do. More than anything, I was ready for the Games; I have been training for 10 years.

Breakfast was as plentiful as the dinner yesterday but they were nothing new due to the fact that I have gorged myself upon them until Charlie was killed. Jane and Alec, as silent as ever, arrived, settled down and began eating. Jacob stumbled into the room like a drunk person, which I think he is, sat down and started eating also, but between bites, brags, boasts and random nonsense spilled out in a uncontrollable torrent to nobody in particular. I just tuned him out. I ate with dignity, unlike Jacob who did not have the wealth of my parents and was stuffing food in his mouth and spilling some of it all over the table. The escort, Jane, Alec, and I looked on with disgust, distaste, or both. 

We arrived at the Capitol. Jacob and I looked through the window, the colors of the Capitol searing my eyes, and I smiled at them, completely ignoring Jacob. I didn't want to start making ties one day before the Games because it'll just hurt when I have to kill Jacob later in the Games when the Careers are the only ones left. I pushed the thought of killing my friend out of my mind. I would not think about it before I truly have to.

"Wow. It's really bright here.", I noted, the comment meant for myself.

"Yeah. It is.", a rough voice answered in a playful tone.

I glanced at Jacob. He was looking at me, eyebrows raised, as if asking me I'm right, aren't I? I was surprised, but not unpleasantly so. In that split second, I saw the young boy I befriended so many years ago. But it disappeared and I was faced with the same person who sat at the breakfast table today.

We stared at each other for a few seconds before both looked away. My eyes were burning with uncharacteristic tears but I blinked them away quickly. District 2 or Career tributes don't cry., I scolded myself.

I was guided to my stylist, my mind still turning over the possibility that the old Jacob could come back to me before I remembered that I might have to kill him a few days from now and that it was probably best he did not become the person I once knew; it would be harder to kill Jacob if he was nice again.

Since my mom took body stuff really, really seriously, my prep team had nothing to do. My hair and skin was perfect except for the scars and wounds that are engraved into my skin from my mother' abuse. 

My stylist, a man with blond hair named Mike Newton, helped me out with the dress and helmet. I didn't like the greedy way he was eyeing my body but I tried to not complain. He took extra long but, in truth, there was nothing new and I ended up wearing the exact same thing as the girl tribute from last year.

I was loaded onto the chariot, riding out right after the tributes from District 1. The crowd screamed and my ears popped. I could feel the blood rushing to my face at the sight of people staring at us with such intensity. I forced a smile but I was ecstatic, knowing we are making an impression already. All the while, I was pretending that Jacob was not next to me; like he was not there at all. But out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jacob was very tense.

We were welcomed by President Aro- a man with translucent-white skin, skin that looked so fragile, I thought it was more brittle than ice, and black hair dressed in a black cloak and papery hair falling to his shoulder. I had the horrifying urge to touch his skin, to see if it was as brittle as it seems. Bloodred eyes filmed by a haze surveyed the crowd with a superior and almost thirsty look. 

He was giving the traditional speech and supposedly, the crowd was to be quiet. But they screamed and roared as the cameras, who were supposed to cut from each of the tribute chariots for an equal amount of time, kept on, more often than normal or fair, cutting to the extremely handsome boy tribute from District 8.

I had to admit he was handsome; even the weird, old textiles-costume with a fluffy, paper-like pink and blue hat couldn't curb the handsome features, and the golden, scorching topaz eyes. Instead, the costume hugged his body, showing off his muscular chest. He stood next to a girl with blonde hair and black eyes. They were also ignoring each other and surveying the crowd carefully. As I watched, the boy's golden eyes flickered to me for a fraction of a second, filled with an emotion I couldn't recognize, before blowing a kiss to the crowd. Hundreds of hands shot up while some of the women fainted from delight. I was also surprised. Nobody from the other districts have ever caught so much attention, except maybe Katniss Everdeen, who won the Games with fellow District 12 tribute Peeta Mellark, 6 years ago in the 74th Hunger Games.

I found my train of thoughts wandering to those to those two tributes and the 74th Hunger Games. I didn't like the idea of any of those losers winning but Katniss and Peeta were impressive, I had to give them that. At least Katniss was. She had come up with the idea of the night lock berries and enabled them both to survive. She was the one killing and surviving instead of joining the Careers. She was the one who blew up her enemies' food supply, and dropped a tracker jacker nest on them. And even though she brought so much trouble on our districts' tributes that year, she did things worth appraising for, as a District 12 tribute. Cato from that year was also a very good killer. The Careers-in-training were told to be like him and many many others who won the Games or died after killing a lot of people, taught to find other people's weaknesses, like what or who they loved. Control them. We all thought Cato would have won. To lose to those losers is a disgrace for us. But at least, he killed so many people before he died. Glimmer was a disgrace and so was Clove. Glimmer was killed by insects you could run away from. The others survived but why did she die? Clove, killed by that District 11 dude, Thresh. I thought she would have been better than that. At least they all know how to kill. Even Peeta was able to kill. They were not as large a disgrace as you are. That is exactly what you are. A disgrace. An embarrassment to your parents, district and relatives. They want you dead but not die in the Hunger Games because people will know what a disgrace you are. Maybe that's why Renee hate me so much. I shook myself back to the present, not wanting to have a breakdown in front of such a large crowd.

In the midst of screaming and roaring, I heard the name "Edward" going around. That must be the name of the District 8 tribute. I glared at them, the tributes from District 8. He was catching too much attention, drawing too much away from us. Tonight was about making a spectacular impression on the crowd and he was preventing that for us, deteriorating our chances of winning the Games. Unless....... I grabbed Jacob's hand, causing him to start in surprise. The crowd saw, to my shock and pleasure, and reacted exactly the way I hoped they would. They screamed, and smiling winningly and shooting Jacob a glance that spoke just go with it, I raised our hands high. The crowd screamed louder and my ears popped. Jacob looked at me strangely. The President, with his papery white skin and graceful movements that mirror Jane and Alec's, was finally done droning on though I couldn't catch a single word he said because of the crowd. 

We finally raced back inside, the wind blowing our hair back and racing over the other chariots as they rode back to the starting place behind us. Jacob suddenly jerked his head to look behind him, staring at somebody in the crowd, still gripping my hand. He watched the mysterious all the way into the stables. Our stylists helped us from the chariot.

Edward passed us on his way out the door and he glared at me with a glare so filled with fury and resentment that reminded me of my mother in her worst times, I resisted the urge to flinch away. Jacob was still tense and watching him, anticipating something. He only relaxed when Edward raced from the room. What was going on? What have I done to Edward? Why was Jacob acting like that?

Jacob and I were led to our own floor and room, only second luxurious compared to the others, in the center where we will be training. Everything was not new except maybe the high tech bathroom.

I took a shower, washing off every speck of makeup that I could while choosing a temperature, a kind of soap that I liked and played with all the buttons in general. I washed my hair that was messed up from the stupid helmet. When I stepped out, I placed my hand on a button, my hair and body was blow-dried, while an electric current goes through my hair, untangling the knots.

I rummaged through the wardrobe, trying to find something to wear that suit my usual style. I finally settled for all black and because they have this system where you say what you want to eat into a mouthpiece and it appears before you in less than a minute, steaming hot and wafting an aroma around the room, and I want to play with all their technology as much as I could before going into the Games, I danced around the room eating my favorite foods from my childhood. I was finally called for dinner, and I ate very little, due to the food I ate earlier.

Having excused myself from the table already, I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering if I would survive. It was painful to think about home but nerve-wracking to think of the present or future. Thinking of Jacob and Edward's reaction during the tribute parade and in the stables was too mysterious and only served to raise more questions. I tried not to think of anything at all and just drift asleep but found my thoughts wandering to Edward again, to my distaste and displeasure. I fell asleep thinking about the handsome boy with the golden eyes and perfect face.

Edward's POV

My escort entered my room, expecting to wake me up with a cheerful "today's a very busy day so wake up already", but as I was already awake, so she made do with "Good morning, Edward. Today's a very busy day!" I rolled my eyes. That wasn't very polite but I couldn't help it. Everyday was a busy day for the too-cheerful to the point of annoying escort.

I sighed, sat up and changed into an random outfit. Who cares what I'm wearing now? When the stylist comes along, I'll change into something else anyway. Some of Jasper's practicality must be really rubbing off on me., I thought, amused.

I joined the others at the breakfast table, not eating anything, ignoring the plate of food in front of me. The others looked at me with strange expressions at my lack of appetite.

Good for them, I had already taken the precautions of feeding before the Reaping so if I was chosen, I wouldn't be thirsty. I wouldn't need to feed in the arena; I could last two weeks at most before needing to feed again.

I left them again, not needing the advice or wanting to listen to the nervous rant of Sashya Denali that goes on day and night in her head these days. My escort was disapproving.

"Edward! Where are you going? You have to listen to your mentors and their advice, Edward! It could be the very information that keeps you alive!", she scolded, frowning.

I wanted to tell her that I am already positive that I'll live but that would cause suspicion, dangerous because suspicions can grow until they have basically figured out what we are, so I just merely said, "Thank you for the wonderful advice but we all know that. I just don't feel very well at the moment so can you please give me some privacy, ma'am?"

The escort looked at me strangely.

I could feel my muscles tightening in anxiety. Whoops. They only speak that way a few hundred years ago, the time when I was borned and raised. I shouldn't have let that slip. That would surely cause attention in the escort's mind. Despite the fact that the thoughts in her mind was truly disgusting, I listened carefully, seeing what she was suspecting and how do I prove her wrong so I don't raise suspicion.

He speaks so old-fashioned. Could he be from another era? The before time?, she wondered in her head. Her train of thought paused for one second before continuing, That's impossible. He's so young and so is his family. Nobody has been able to be immortal. At least not yet though President Snow has been living for an awfully long time. She hesitated again. What is wrong with you? Today's a busy day and you want to get the boy out alive so you better get to work! First things first, he says he doesn't feel well. I'll get him to be better before the Games began though he looks well. He is very pale. He would miss the mentor's suggestions. It could cause him his life. Though he seems like he knows he would survive. She frowned to herself. But that's impossible. Nobody has been sure they would survive. They still have dangerous enemies, lethal adversaries. I truly hope he makes it out of there alive and I'll make sure I'm a big part of the reason. He'll surely thank me and I'll get what I want. Disturbing images and daydreams started playing in a slideshow/movie in her head and I tuned her thoughts out, disgusted. I relaxed in relief. She doesn't suspect anything. Not yet.

It's surprising, those thoughts only took a few seconds to form, faster than the average person. Not that I care. Well, I should care because she was my escort but she's just so annoying sometimes. Her voice cut me from my train of thoughts.

"Well then. We'll have to get you to the doctor. We don't want you sick two days before the Games.", she said, sounding resigned. "But are you sure? You don't want to miss the advice."

I gave her a smile and heard her breathing falter. "No, thank you.", I responded, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice so I could answer politely. "No need to fuss over me; I'll be fine. As for the advice and learning, I'll ask the mentors some time later."

I lay on my bed, waiting for our train to reach the Training Center in the Capitol. My mind kept turning over my family's parting words, especially Alice's. What did she mean? She was so careful with her thoughts that day....... A thought hit me in the face with a force of a vampiric slap. Maybe, I'll meet my soulmate in the arena. No. I hope not. That would be bad. Very very bad indeed. I saw in my head, suddenly, an image of Isabella Swan in the Training Center. I'll meet her tomorrow in the training room., I thought. I wondered which District she's from. It should be 2. I didn't want her to be. I didn't want to apologize to a killer. But I promised my father and I must keep the promise.

The others finished breakfast- I could hear the clashing of plates outside my room from all the way in the dining room as the Avoxes clear away the utensils- and I figured we were close to the Capitol- my sense of smell picked up the foul artificial scent of the Capitol and the aroma of human blood a few miles before we actually arrived. Joining Sashya at the window, I peered out at the Capitol. The colors, painful to human eyes, were a hundred times worse on my vampire eyes. I had to shield my eyes to see the citizens. They waved at me and thoughts clamored in my head, causing a painful headache. The headache and the pain on my eyes would have made me pass out if I could. I backed away from the window and I nearly heard a collective sigh of disappointment from the crowd outside. It would be a very long day.

I was led to my prep team. All they had to do was rip the small amount of hair from my body before I met my stylist. Jessica Stanley, her head filled with disgusting thoughts as she saw my naked body, dressed me in the exact same costume the boy tribute from last year wore. I bit back a groan to be polite. There will be no impressions or attention we are grabbing tonight during the tribute parade. It's probably a good thing that Alice or Rosalie was not chosen. Rosalie would have been horrified at the costume and would be chewing the stylist out for it. I would have done so also except for the fact that criticizing the costumes would be impolite and hurt the stylists' feelings. Alice would have designed her own costume. 

We were loaded onto a chariot pulled by horses and rode out after the tribute of District 7, dressed like trees and looking self-consciously at themselves. I didn't blame them. In fact, I was also self-conscious.

The crowd screamed and people started pointing at me. In people's thoughts, my name went around and around, making it sound like everybody was calling me. I didn't blush easily, even if I was human, but if I was human right now, I would have turned tomato red. I was starting to regret not chewing the stylist out for making us wear such.... I didn't want to say "stupid" because it would be impolite but I thought the costumes were truly silly. Since I'm a vampire, the regret was a thousand times stronger. I groaned inwardly.

We stopped in front of the President, and to my dismay, the cameras kept on cutting to us. Squaring my shoulders, I stood up straighter and smiled. I caught sight of Isabella Swan in the District 2 chariot, her eyes staring off into space, before catching my eyes. I looked away and blew a kiss to the crowd. The response was immediate.

In the background, my vampire sense of hearing picked up the President's speech and he was gazing over at the crowd with a murderous rage gleam in his eyes. I didn't have to listen to his thoughts to know what he was thinking: he wanted to be listened to, obeyed, respected and the crowd was not giving him what he wanted. They were in big trouble.

"Edward" was bouncing around in the crowd and I was surprised. Those cruel people actually bothered to look on the program to figure out my name. My eyes flickered back to Isabella Swan. A thoughtful expression dominated her face before it turned into a determined one. I tried to pick her "voice" that spoke her thoughts out of the millions but couldn't.

The crowd tored their eyes off us for a second and I followed their gaze to the District 2 tribute chariot. Isabella Swan and the boy were holding hands and, smiling, she raised their hands above their heads. People screamed their approval and I was thankful that the attention was off me but I was bothered by the fact that they were holding hands.

I frowned. I didn't even know those killers. And they were killers. The Careers. The ones who trained against the law for the Games, the ones who killed ruthlessly in the arena. Why would it bother me so much that they were holding hands? Alice's last warning rang in my head again.

I was shaken from my train of thoughts when the speech was over and we started riding back.

A delicious scent, more delicious than any other I have ever smelled, flew with the wind towards me. Fire raced down my throat and venom flooded my mouth. My muscles tensed and I nearly lurched into a crouch, and I would have attacked if it wasn't for the werewolf scent that accompanied the aroma. I was jerked out of my trance for a second and we were inside.

Whose blood was that?, I wondered. My throat was burning even though I was not thirsty, thirsting for the blood of the mysterious someone. I dared not to stay and find out who it was in fear I would attack so I turned around and made to leave the room, ignoring my stylists and Sashya, walking as fast as I could without showing the others my inhuman speed. I passed the District 2 chariots, Isabella Swan and another boy, and my throat went into flames. Thirst consumed me. I wanted, no needed her blood. But I can't attack, not without exposing our family. Without thinking, I glared at her, the one who could cause the break of my control that I practiced over hundreds of years, the one who is not burning my throat with a thirst I couldn't out out. At the corner of my focus, I saw the boy tribute watching me intensely- I could smell the werewolf in him-, and I raced from the room, not caring where I was going, only wanting to be out of the same room with Isabella Swan, to stay out of the temptation.

The werewolf's thoughts followed me out the door. Don't you dare think about getting her! I don't want to expose both of us but I will if that's what it takes to stop you. 

I swallowed hard once I get outside, trying to quench the sudden thirst. Oh my god. How am I going to apologize to her tomorrow? The smell of her blood pulsing in her throat. For an immeasurable amount of time, I wandered the halls, swallowing , thinking about Isabella Swan, the werewolf, my family, Forks, anything besides the smell of her blood. An Avox led me back to my room after he found me wandering around in the halls.

I skipped dinner and laid on my bed, cursing myself, after taking a quick shower, trying to rub off every speck of makeup there is and get used to the technology a little. You can't ruin what Carlisle has built for you all these years. You can't disappoint him. You should have been more in control; you've had hundreds among thousands of years to practice this kind of control. If it wasn't for the scent of the werewolf, you would have attacked. What were you thinking? All the while, the monster inside me, my nature, thirsted so bad for the blood of Isabella Swan. You must taste the blood. It is in your nature. Let it take over. Who cares if it's illegal to hurt another tribute before the Games? You're going into the Games anyway, your family may be disappointed but you won't be sentenced to death and neither would they. Go. Get the blood. It's in your nature. Let it take over.

The night passed with me thinking of Isabella Swan with the delicious blood and scolding myself.

Jacob's POV

I was led to my brainless prep team and an idiotic stylist named Jessica Stanley. The prep team ripped every inch of body hair from my body and have already prepared me for the stylist. I hated Jessica and the greedy way she eyed my naked body. Sadly, I had to obey her but she was so dumb and unimaginative, I ended up wearing the exact same thing as the boy tribute from last year. 

But God, does Bella look nice! The costume made her look like a warrior though it still showed her beauty. A beautiful warrior, something everyone wanted to be back in 2. I could barely keep my eyes off her and my thoughts dignified.

We rode out and immediately, the sickly sweet and icy scent of vampires hit me. Ugh! I wrinkled my nose against the smell. Bella stood next to me, smiling but never giving me another glance. I felt so rejected. I've been her friend for years and then, she ignored me for so long, like she is doing now. Why? 

I was immersed with wondering why she was ignoring me now when she suddenly grabbed my hand. I jumped and I could hear my heartbeat increasing. She actually took my hand! My mouth went dry and I felt like I was floating in some kind of paradise where everything is as I wanted them to be. The attention was taken off the golden-eyed leech in the District 8 chariot, who was standing next to a human girl, was getting a lot of attention. He was standing, surveying the crowd and blowing kisses, causing the crowd to go wild, before we took the attention. He looked grateful but troubled. Hmm. I wonder why. 

But I could smell another one. Where? My eyes were drawn to another figure on a high balcony and I could see the President with his milky red eyes, sickly sweet scent and translucent-white skin. Just like his "children", Jane and Alec, the witch twins. I was getting sick of having dinner with Jane and Alec, their scent ruining the food. I wondered how they could possibly tolerate human food until I realized the food came back up after each meal when I was passing a random door. I'd chuckled under my breath, knowing they could hear me. There are downsides of being one of the eternally damned. 

We were racing back when I knew the bloodsucker behind me was plotting something. A natural warning that somebody might attack. I turned around stiffly. The bloodsucker, his eyes filled with lust, was staring at Bella, muscles tensed, nearly in a crouch. I watched him carefully, contemplating whether or not he was going to attack. He was sworn to secrecy and lack of human blood so I wasn't so sure if he would though he looked thirsty enough to. Why was he thirsty? His eyes are yellow, for crying out loud! Aren't they supposed to be well-fed when their eyes are yellow or bloodred?

We were inside and he raced outside but not before passing our chariot. I stiffened, already letting the ball of warmth inside me grow so I could erupt into a werewolf at any moment, ready to protect Bella. He glared at her and the fury was enough for me to explode. Control your temper, Jacob., I thought. My thoughts returned to the bloodsucker who wanted Bella's blood. Don't you dare think about getting her! I don't want to expose both of us but I will if that's what it takes to stop you. 

He raced out the door and I finally relaxed. He won't be coming back for her, not today. He still stand by his vows, at least, for now. But who knows what will happen in the arena?


	6. Chapter 4- Questions, Answers and Explanations

** Bella's POV **

I slept but it was filled with disturbing images of the death and pain in the arena, with me, naturally, as the victim. I woke up screaming the next morning. The escort whom I'm starting to hate, dragged me to breakfast the moment I was ready. Today was training in the center, showing off and getting your points to the Gamemakers, and the interview.

Finally, something that fit what I have been working for since I was 8.

Unfortunately, my thoughts decided to take a turn to an upcoming event that I'll rather not think of: But then, tomorrow- tomorrow would be the Games. I tried hard not to think about it but it was either that or Edward, none of which was a pleasant subject to think about but Edward was the lesser of the two. So I decided to think about Edward as I ate breakfast, paying no attention to my surroundings.

 _What have I done to him to get the death glare from him yesterday? Why was he looking at me like that at the Tribute Parade?_ Then, a question occurred to me, and only one person could answer that.

The escort started chattering about a dead Avox found bloodless and drained on the floor of this very room. Jacob looked like he was going to be sick and was about to leave the room when I stopped him. I needed answers.

"Jacob.", I called across the room softly, not wanting to be loud. Jane and Alec barely gave me a second glance though the escort stared at me strangely. No reply. It's as if I'm simply not there. Anger made me raise my voice, forgetting completely about the other people at the table. "Jacob! Will you pay attention to other people besides yourself for once!", I snapped, annoyed.

He sat back down and glared at me. "What? You've been ignoring me for two years and _now_ you start to talk to me again? That's not fair, Bella!"

I felt suddenly very guilty. I hated how he changed that time but I knew I shouldn't have acted the way I did. But the question must be answered. "Look, Jake. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings or something these last two years but I need to ask you a question only you can answer. Can you please listen?", I said at last, the tiredness and resignation in my voice genuine.

Jane and Alec, who were both looking on the shouting match with an amused expression, left the table but not before giving Jacob a warning glare.

To my surprise, he swallowed nervously and nodded.

He turned back to me, nervous expression disappeared to be replaced by one of pure rage. "One, don't call me that. You don't deserve that right anymore. Two, why do I care about your stupid question?", he snarled, standing up to leave also. "For crying out loud, why should even I care yesterday? I should have let the bloodsucker take you right then and there!" He stomped out.

I sat there, stunned at both Jacob's reaction and his words, frozen, my face probably a mask of shock, my head spinning. _Bloodsucker? What was he talking about? Take me? As in kill me?_

The escort touched my arm, meaning to be empathetic, but I jerked my arm away. "Don't _touch_ me.", I growled, seeing the escort flinch away out of fear- we Careers are sometimes feared for our brutalilty, strength and skills in fighting, the thought made me smile for a second- before fleeing the room.

I slammed the door to my bedroom and laid on my bed. There was hurt, guilt, pain, astonishment. I could feel the tears brewing behind my eyelids at the actions and words of my ex-best friend. It occurred to me that I still cared about Jacob. I blinked furiously, trying to keep the tears away, before giving in and crying. After a long time, I sighed. If this happened any other time, I would have gone after him, talked to him, maybe become friends again, but I couldn't afford to tie this kind of bond with anybody right now, especially not another Career, whom I may have to kill some time in the future. I wouldn't have talked to him if this was any other time. But I needed answers and I wished he would give them. I wished I could fix things with him before he or I die in the arena. In that split second, I wish I hadn't volunteered. I wish I had stayed in 2, stood up to my mother, and most importantly, fixed things with Jacob, become friends again and maybe even become lovers. _But that's impossible now.,_ I told myself. _You volunteered and there's no way out._

I found my thoughts drifting to Edward again. The other subjects was more painful so I dwelled on this subject. Now that I think of it, he seems familiar, especially his golden eyes. The golden eyes. Where have I seen the golden eyes? I knew I saw them before. I closed my eyes and the little replay of my father's death played inside my head again. I knew I started crying and it would show when I go to train but I didn't bother with it. And finally, I saw my answer in Carlisle Cullen. Carlisle Cullen, the cold-hearted person who walked right past Charlie, who withdrew the help to Charlie when he most needed it, had the same golden colored eyes. And the lust that was in Edward's eyes when he glared at me yesterday. I saw it, a replica of it, shining in Carlisle's eyes the day I lost my caring father.

Tears of anger this time filled my eyes and spilled over and down my face. There was no mistake. I was absolutely positive that Edward is the son of Carlisle Cullen. And I almost went stomping to the elevator to go to District 8 tributes' room to kill Edward, I didn't care if it's illegal, I needed my revenge, when logic stopped me.

 _How could Edward be Carlisle's son? Carlisle's so_ young _. Use logic,_ the logical part scolded.

 _But the eyes and the look in his eyes. They were_ definitely _from Carlisle.,_ the one who lusted for my revenge argued.

I laid there, arguing internally, until I finally decided that I would find out when we go to train this morning. That choice being made, I figured I needed answers, I needed explanations. I needed to find Jacob.

The short walk to Jacob's room was too short; my feet was dragging and I was dreading this meeting. I arrived and knocked.

"Go away, Amber!", a rough voice yelled through the door. It sounded like the person was crying , screaming or yelling.

I also realized something else. Emma's the name of the escort. Who cares. I have more important matters to take care of. "Jacob. It's me, Bella. Can I come in?"

"What do you want, for crying out loud? Just leave me alone!", came the cold reply.

"I'm going to stand here and knock on the door until you open up and answer my question. Then, I swear I'll leave you alone. And were you crying, screaming or yelling? You don't want somebody else knowing a District 2 have been crying."

"You don't sound much better yourself. You can't threaten someone with the same thing they can threaten you."

"Just open the door, Jacob."

"No."

"I'll make you regret it.", I promised.

He snorted. For once, he sounded like the old, friendly Jacob before I reminded myself of the looming Games.

Still needing answers, and I have no idea what inside me made me do it but the next thing I knew, I was going to the kitchen and taking a knife from the hands of a very confused chef. I don't know why or how I did it but I used the knife, my weapon of choice and something I'm very good at using, to cut away the hinges of the door and it leaned towards me, the lock on the other side the only thing keeping the door from falling on me. I danced through the opening, smiling smugly, tripping a little over what I thought was a random piece of junk on the floor.

"Oops.", I said in mock sheepishness, sarcasm dripping from my voice. I was usually more mature but it was too easy to be like a happy child with Jake around, even though he probably hates my guts.

Jacob laughed.

"What did I tell you, huh? Now listen to me before I destroy more furniture." The grin was evident in my voice.

Jacob laughed. He was lying on the luxurious bed with red, puffy eyes as if he was crying and a murderously enraged glare. But he knew what I was capable of and wouldn't have a flicker of hope in beating me when I have a knife in my hands. He gave in with poor grace. "Okay. Fine! What kind of answers?", he muttered, resigned.

"Firstly, what bloodsucker?"

His face darkened. "None of your business."

"You said you'd answer me.", I protested.

"I am bound by law to not tell you."

"Tell me or I'm going to make up an excuse, ask Amber take me to the District 8 floor, find Edward and ask him instead."

He stared at me, disbelieving. "You wouldn't."

"Yes, I would.", I said, getting up from the bed, heading to the door.

"No! He'll _kill_ you, for crying out loud!", Jacob exclaimed behind me.

I smiled at him, struggling to keep the triumph out of my voice at his reaction. "Thanks for the warning but I'm probably going to die tomorrow, anyway. Nice knowing you." I walked out, tears stinging my eyes as I realize the truth in my words- so did Jacob, I'm sure he knew, he whom have been friends with me when no one else wanted to be- but also ecstatic at the reaction I got from him before his strong hand grabbed me and pulled me back.

"Are you _mad_?", he hissed, furious.

"No. Now will you tell me? Then, I won't go.", I answered, using his weakness to my advantage.

"Argh. You're driving me crazy. You _are_ crazy."

"Thanks. Now can you please answer me?"

"Fine! What is the other name, do you think, for bloodsucker?"

"Um.... I dunno.", I answered honestly, brows creasing. What is the name for an animal who sucks blood except for the ones that haunted the dreams of children, the villains of childish fairy tales? "Vampire? Or leeches?"

"Vampires. But I like to call them leeches and bloodsuckers.", Jacob mumbled as quietly as he could. "God do I _have_ to answer you?" He added louder, whining.

"For one, yes, you do.", I responded, smiling. "Two, you're telling me vampires are real? You've got to be kidding me.", I added on, suddenly yelling, suddenly not able to keep my voice down anymore.

"Shh!"

"Then, are you another supernatural creature? If so, what are you? How do you know what Edward is?"

"I can't tell you."

" _Tell me!",_ I demanded, annoyed now.

He shook his head.

I pouted before trying a different angle. I had never thought of him more than a friend but I knew he thinks differently. I reached out and touched his face. "Please?" I made my voice soft and alluring and he gave in, but not before heaving a sigh.

He laughed bitterly. "I'll _show_ you what I am." He suddenly started stripping, and I don't know why but his nudity bothered me, so I looked away. "Now, step back."

I nodded, my eyes still trained on the door. My thoughts were spinning out of my control. Edward is a vampire? How is that possible? But I guess it all made sense. I had hated it but I was forced to watch "scary" movies about vampires and all of them feature immortal and inhumanly beautiful/handsome people with chalky pale skin- which Carlisle and Edward has-, can turn into bats, and have super strength and speed. But one word caught my attention. Immortal. Maybe Carlisle was immortal. That's how he can father Edward and still look so young. I have to find out and I will during training.

Something wet nudged my hand out of the blue, breaking my train of thought. _What in the world?_ I turned around and I saw, not the friendly boy I befriended when we were young, not the arrogant but strong warrior who was going into the Games with me, but a _wolf_. Dark and mysterious eyes peered at me from a wolf body the size of a horse and covered with reddish brown fur.

I couldn't hold back the gasp that bursted from my lips."Jacob? Is that you?", I whispered, voice trembling.

The wolf dipped its head.

"Oh my god!", I shrieked. "You're a _werewolf_?"

The wolf disappeared and plain old Jacob returned, naked but glaring at me with such ferocity that seemed to make fire burn in his eyes, that made him seem more like the monsters in a child's dream than my friend the human. Something else caught my eyes. Fear. It sparked in his eyes and twisted his furious expression a tiny bit, such a small change that only people who knew him well, like I did, would notice. "Will you _be quiet_? Jane and Alec are leeches who have acute hearing and if they find out I told you about us, you and I are dead. You have _no idea_ what Jane can do." He quickly pulled on his clothes, no longer naked.

"She doesn't but she'll find out.", murmured a cold but beautiful girl's voice by the doorway. It was almost like the voice of an angel. But it wasn't right. No angelic child would sound so devoid of emotion, so cold and brutal.

We both whirled around. I gasped. Jane and Alec, their petite forms an ominous shadow in the otherwise bright room, stared at us frostily.

"You told her, didn't you? We stood and still stand by our rules, followed them, when you didn't? So much for being the good guys.", Alec sneered, the sound like velvet even though the sneer ruined the effect. "And leeches, aren't we? We are so much more better than those filthy animals."

"I only call you that because your diets are similar.", Jacob said, answering Alec's sneer with one of his.

For some reason, my mind flew to Edward. Do all vampires act like this? Does all vampires sound like this? _You've been thinking of him way too much_., a part of me scolded the other, disgusted. _What is wrong with thinking about the boy, anyway? I'm going to kill him anyway in the arena; he looks too much like Carlisle Cullen, I have to kill him.,_ sang the other part of me. _That's the problem. If you think too much about him, you'll start to_ care., the logical part said that like it was the worst thing to happen in the world. It is, considering the circumstances. _When the time comes, you might not be able to kill him. If you do, you'll never be able to live with yourself. But I doubt you'll be able to kill him or_ anyone _else._

I was only brought back to the present when Jane asked something me coldly.

My head snapped to her. "I'm sorry. What?"

Besides me, Jacob groaned. "Pay attention, for crying out loud. You have no idea what she can do to you if you anger her."

"Unfortunately, she already has angered me.", Jane said, a little emotion- something that is similar but weaker and colder than happiness- creeping back into her voice as she said the words. She turned to me and smiled.

"No!", Jacob yelled from beside me. He changed and launched himself at her, only to fall down halfway, writhing in pain.

"What are you doing to him? Stop!", I shrieked, unable to stand watching my friend in pain. I finally figured out what Jacob meant when he said "no idea what she can do".

She turned to me and I flinched away, waiting for the pain to come. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Jacob getting up and staring at her with horror. But no pain came and I breathed a sign of relief. She growled in frustration and glared at me. Nothing.

I smelled in triumph while Jacob's wolf face relaxed.

"You will pay for this. Because, after all, we are your mentors.", Jane hissed at me in fury, effectively wiping the smile of my face.

Then, she turned to Jacob. "You. You have broken the law. You must be punished. The President will personally _make_ sure you get your deserved punishment." Smiling coldly and nodding at Alec to follow her, they left the room.

Jacob changed back and pulled on clothes, his face a grim mask. My face probably reflected him. I knew Jane meant what she said. I knew here "father" was the President and we would die, i the arena, if not before. And I was abruptly very sad and worried. I was nostalgic for the days before my father's death, when I felt safe, sure of my safety. When I had no worries. _That time is gone._ , I told myself. _Face reality._

Jacob's face abruptly broke into a smile."I can't believe Jane has no effect on you. It must be driving her crazy." He chuckled, in a good mood now.

I forced a smile bit came out twisted and warped with my own sadness. Why was I sad? Because I was faced with my own impending death. I was suddenly very regretful of everything I would miss when I died. I would miss the chance to go to all the other districts, to fall in love. I would miss the chance to marry and have children and grow old with my husband. And I was very sad indeed that I felt like crying and breaking down. _Why me? Why was Charlie the one to die in that battle? I want to do all the things I might've gotten to try and see if I grew older in District 2! Why can't I? Why is the only way to escape my mother was the Hunger Games? Why didn't I think of this before I volunteered?_ Oh I wanted to, so bad, to turn back time and un-volunteer myself but I couldn't.

Amber the annoying escort walked in mere seconds later, and Jacob acted like his arrogant self while I forced my thoughts away. I have already seen the consequences of letting others know of the supernatural world; Amber doesn't need to know what do now. Amber, smiling brightly, said, "It's time for training."

We nodded. I was excited and changed quickly into my usual style of all black. I could get answers from Edward and finally use what I learned over the years.

I headed through the door and into the room, anticipating the joy I would get. Maybe after the talk with Edward, all the pieces of the puzzle would fit together and in the arena, I get to murder Edward as revenge for Carlisle.

Surprisingly, the idea of revenge doesn't appeal to me as much as it did a mere day ago. Why? I'll find out.

** Jacob's POV **

I couldn't sleep that night, thinking about the bloodsucker who wanted Bella's blood- Edward?. Yeah, definitely Edward. He was old so his name is old-fashioned.

I had to repeatedly fight the urge to sneak into her room so I could make sure she was okay. When I figured I couldn't sleep, I got up and heard sounds coming from the dining room.

I peered inside and the stink of the other two leeches filled my nose. It wrinkled automatically. But I wasn't paying attention to the stink because in front of me, there was something more horrible than the smell of some vampire. An Avox lay on the ground, writhing in pain, his mouth opened in a silent scream. I had a feeling it would be a _very_ loud scream indeed if he wasn't mute. Jane and Alec looked on, chuckling, especially Jane, with a volume too faint for human ears.

Fury engulfed me, making me shake and tremble, the werewolf in me already fighting to rise. I pushed it down. If I phased right now, the bloodsuckers would have me as paralyzed as the Avox while they slowly tore me apart. And I couldn't afford to die. I needed to protect Bella in the Games. So I clenched my hands into fists. I was murderously enraged at how these stupid leeches could treat any human this way and a growl burst through my teeth, unable to be held back any longer. They all looked up, the Avox relaxing in relief when the pain left his body.

"Ah... Dear Jacob has come to join us, Alec! Isn't that wonderful?", Jane murmured, her voice emotionless.

I scoffed. It was the first time I heard her speak since we met on such bad terms and she sounded just like her "father" or master, Aro, though without the proper enthusiasm needed. "What are you doing to him? And how did you do it?", I responded coldly, trying to hide the surprise and fear brewing behind my calm facade. Jane seemed to notice that but pretended she didn't. I knew some vampires were gifted beyond their inhuman strength and speed but I had never seen anyone do that.

"Lethal and potent, don't you think?", she said, laughing quietly- a sound like tinkling bells that would have been beautiful in other circumstances and in a human's body-, walking closer, answering my question. "That's why Master Aro gave me the honor of being in his guard in the first place but of course, I wasn't allowed to review what I was and what I could do so I had to kill each tribute with a weapon and leave their blood alone. What a waste. Some of their blood actually smelled very tasty." She smiled as if remembering the scents and walked another few feet closer, her movements so graceful, she didn't look like she was touching the ground at all, like she was floating.

I recoiled at her closeness and words and stumbled a few steps back. "What did you do to him?", I repeated, nodding at the Avox who was staring at us like we were crazy but also with fear.

Jane followed my gaze when she seemed to realize the Avox heard her comment about the blood. "Hm. He heard us. Get rid of him, Alec.", she said indifferently, nodding at the boy. They still abide the number one rule of the supernatural- keep our identities or secret hidden and unknown.

Alec nodded and knelt beside the human, teeth bared, ready to feed. I could feel my eyes widen and I looked away.

"To answer your question, Jacob, I used my gift, something that can cause someone to feel the worst pain they have ever felt though nothing is done physically to their body."

I felt my heart sink. My father, Billy, was working to overthrow the President and I had not pay any attention to him because I thought his efforts was useless; I was right. The Capitol's people have been made invincible and safe by these two and so many others who were in Aro's little "collection" of vampires.

"Can your " _brother"_ do something like that?", I asked, not bothering to sneer the edge in my voice. "But I have to say, as cool as your gifts are, you're still the bad guys and we're still the good guys."

"You do not address us that way. We are, in so many ways, more superior than werewolves or humans.", Alec spoke up, snarling, speaking for the first time, sounding like he believed his own words, like he _was_ more superior than I am. Riiiiight. Note the sarcasm. "And yes, I can shut down all the senses you have, leaving you blind, deaf, and mute. No, she is my twin sister by blood."

He sounded like that other ancient whom I met sometime ago. Caius was his name?

My eyes widened at the new information but I quickly rearranged my face so they couldn't see the shock and fear. "I can speak to you any way I want.", I retorted rudely, knowing this was probably not the best way to speak to them when I know what they can do now but couldn't entirely smother the defiance and fury in me that rose in a tidal wave every time I look at the poor, drained and dead Avox on the floor.

"You _dare?_ ", Jane asked, raising a perfect eyebrow and that was all I saw before I was on the ground, vision turning red from pain.

I snapped my teeth together, unwilling to let out the slightest sound but a shriek burst from my mouth before it was cut off by Alec as I writhed in pain. Was this how humans feel when they transform into vampires? Because I certainly felt like somebody was burning me, every limb, every cell, slowly, painfully, cruelly.

Through the fog, I saw Jane and Alec chuckling like before, Jane smiling a smug and cruel smile that lit up her pretty face. I was infuriated far beyond anything, hatred and rage shooting through my blood, as I saw that smug smile and even though I was bound by the pain of the fire, I phased. Her shock broke her concentration. That tiny hesitation was the only thing needed for me to run, to escape her. I didn't try killing them, knowing they would instinctively paralyzed me from pain or rid me of my senses so I fled to my room, bounding through the corridors, hoping no one was awake so late at night.

I phased back, still breathing hard, as I dressed my naked self. Without any conscious thought, I started calling Jane and Alec the witch twins.

Light slanted in through the window and I knew it was almost dawn. I sighed, knowing there was no time for sleep but I could hold for another day before needing sleep again- a benefit of being a werewolf- though I would be very tired, and dressed for breakfast.

I gave the witch twins a look of respect before sitting down at the breakfast table, trusting that was all it took for them to stop rendering me helpless with pain or loss of senses. They looked like they accepted that and started to pretend to eat again. I wanted to chuckle under my breath though was too nervous to do so now that I had a taste of what Jane can do. The food would be coming back up for sure. I relaxed in slight relief.

Amber the escort came in and started talking about the dead Avox and I suddenly couldn't eat. I should have protected him but overall, I couldn't get rid of the image of Alec leaning over the boy, me almost able to see the blood flowing down Alec's throat. I shuddered and made to leave when Bella called me name.

I wanted to answer her but a natural instinct told me if I do, I'll regret it. So I pretended I didn't hear her and walked further from the table when her words cut through my pretense. "Jacob! Will you pay attention to other people besides yourself for once!"

Anger rose up in a tidal wave like last night. I shook, trying to phase again. _How dare she called me, addressed me like an old friend, after two years of ignorance? I had gone after her, calling her, back home at first before giving up. Sure, I may have changed but that was only due to the fact that Billy started to help the rebels with plans to overthrow the Capitol, making him, Nessie- the mysterious girl who Billy doesn't even let me_ look _at and smells a little like a leech-, and I a disgrace to District 2! And the other boys were teasing me for it, so I had to act cool! It was so that I wouldn't be bullied! Couldn't she_ understand _?_

I was so furious, I didn't even think about what I said; it just flew from my mouth before I could stop it. "What? You've been ignoring me for two years and _now_ you start to talk to me again? That's not fair, Bella!"

She didn't look guilty but I knew her well enough to know that she was. "Look, Jake. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings or something these last two years but I need to ask you a question only you can answer. Can you please listen?"

I turned back to Bella. I was not ready to forgive her. I, unlike the other leeches, was not able to learn that there are some grudges that are not worth the fight and fury, not worth to hold. Sure, I'm as old as they are, werewolves are immortal when they want to be, but half of my immortal life, I spent, trying to breathe due to the hot air and air pollution and avoiding fires, so my people skills have not grown along with my age.

Turning around to face her, leaving my expression to be whatever it wants to be, I gave a retort I knew would sting. "One, don't call me that. You don't deserve that right anymore. Two, why do I care about your stupid question?", I snarled, standing up to leave also. "For crying out loud, why should even I care yesterday? I should have let the bloodsucker take you right then and there!"

Not able to hold back my temper and knowing I might phase any moment, I stomped out. But in my head, I could still see her hurt and shocked face. I'd hurt her, didn't I? _Good._ , I thought smugly, for once, not the friendly guy who was always trying to keep her happy. _She needs a taste of what she did to me._

I just lay there, thinking about my stupid father for landing me as the subject of bullying, the person people take their resentment, vengeance and anger out on, thinking about how Bella lost her father and ended up with her abusive mother, how we should have stuck together so either of us wouldn't have to endure what we did.

Sometime later, Amber the escort knocked on my door. "Honey, are you alright?", her shrill bubbly voice asked me from behind the door.

"You stay away from me or the rest of your life won't be long.", I snarled, knowing it would scare her away but not caring what in the world I said, just to get her to go away.

Her sharp intake of breath was audible from behind the door. I would have laughed if I was in the mood. "Alright, sweetie. Ask me if you need anything, alright?"

I snorted under my breath.

Jane and Alec's icy scent wafted from the direction of the door, burning my nose, as a delicate knock rang off the wood. With a sigh, I stood up and opened the door for them. Jane was waiting on the other side.

"What do you want?", I snarled at them.

"We heard your screams from our room. We _know_ that you called the peculiarly golden-eyed boy in the District 8 chariot a _bloodsucker_ to both Amber and Bella's face. Do you know how _dangerous_ it would be for both our kind if the humans find out?", Alec said coldly, giving me a very icy look before briefly flicking his eyes to Jane.

I followed his gaze. Jane smiled at me with bared teeth and I flinched. The last time she looked at me like that, she had burned and paralyzed me with her gift. "Okay.I promise to not betray our secret to Bella.", I assured them finally.

They must have heard something genuine in my voice for they seemed satisfied. Jane nodded. "You have given your word but we will punish you if you tell anyone about us.", Jane warned.

I nodded, gulping.

They left with one last warning look my way.

A few minutes later, another knock was heard on my door.

I sighed (I sighed a lot during that time!) and opened the door only to be faced with the furiously annoying escort _again._ What is the _problem_ with her? Can't she see I want to be left alone?

" _What?",_ I snarled coldly. The shaking had started and I was trying very hard to not phase. If I did, her face or her life would be gone. I couldn't say I wouldn't be happy at the time.

I watched as her face paled. I suddenly could barely hold back a chuckle.

"What do you _want?_ ", try to sound annoyed after her reaction to my comment, which was not really hard because I was still a little annoyed with her.

She stared at me blankly before realizing that I actually spoke to her and she needed to answer. Her chest inflated and deflated with the deep breath she was taking before she spoke, her voice shaky and fearful. "I just- Um... I just wanted to make sure you were alright.", she stammered, her face still pale.

"Look. I _am_ alright. I don't care if you want to continually show up at my door and try to comfort me because you think that will make me like you but you're from the Capitol and, no offense, I don't like Capitol people. So bye bye." And I shut the door in her face.

I sat back down and actually felt a teensy-bit guilty for speaking to her that way but she needed to know I was very annoyed and her presence wasn't appreciated at the moment.

Another knock sounded and I sighed. I was beyond exasperated and annoyed at the escort. If she opens the door or talked to me right now, I swear her face would be torn to shreds when I phased uncontrollably. "Go away, Amber!"

"Jacob. It's me, Bella. Can I come in?", came the reply. Bella?

I was torn. I wanted to answer her so badly but I knew that I might regret it. She was probably furious at me for screaming at her. But I want to answer her so much. I decided to see how determined she is to get what she wants. What does she want, anyway?

"What do you want, for crying out loud? Just leave me alone!", I growled. Every single word was true.

"I'm going to stand here and knock on the door until you open up and answer my question. Then, I swear I'll leave you alone. And were you crying, screaming or yelling? You don't want somebody else knowing a District 2 have been crying." Oh, I was? I didn't notice the tears streaking down my face until she said that. Oh well. But she sounded no better.

"You don't sound much better yourself. You can't threaten someone with the same thing they can threaten you."

"Just open the door, Jacob.", she replied, sounding tired of the argument. I deliberated for a moment. If she was really that determined, she would find a way in, no matter what. She was stubborn Bella, after all. I'll see how determined she is.

"No."

"I'll make you regret it.", came her answering threat.

I chuckled under my breath. She may be more bent on getting whatever she wants more than I thought.

There was a sawing noise at my door and suddenly, my door caved in. Bella danced trough, not before stumbling a tiny bit over her own feet, smiling smugly.

"Oops.", she said. I laughed a little.

"What did I tell you, huh? Now listen to me before I destroy more furniture."

I knew there was no way to wriggle out of this without getting mortal injuries so I gave in. "Okay. Fine! What kind of answers?"

Her grin became bigger. I almost grinned too. I loved to see that grin.

"Firstly, what bloodsucker?"

That question took my by surprise until I thought about what I said before I stormed out. "For crying out loud, why should I even care yesterday? I should have let the bloodsucker take you right then and there!" Oh no. I promised Jane and Alec I wouldn't tell her anything and I accidentally let that slip. Screw my big mouth. How am I going to maneuver out of this situation, if it's even possible I can?

I tried. "None of your business."

She doesn't like that answer. "You said you'd answer me.", she said in protest.

Ugh. I hate this. But I can't tell her and I know she won't give up so I decided to her the truth. "I am bound by law to not tell you."

"Tell me or I'm going to make up an excuse, ask Amber take me to the District 8 floor, find Edward and ask him instead.", Bella replied.

That was a truly low blow. She wanted to go to the bloodsucker's place, she prefer him to me, me who have been by her side until she didn't want me there. She'll die, for crying out loud! "You wouldn't.", I said weakly, disbelieving, trying to convince myself more than her.

"Yes, I would.", she replied, her voice suddenly bleak and emotionless.

I knew I was providing her with a weakness but I panicked. She can't go. Not when he's thirsting for her blood. So I said the only thing that came to mind."No! He'll kill you, for crying out loud!"

Her response surprised me even more. "Thanks for the warning but I'm probably going to die tomorrow, anyway. Nice knowing you."

Tears threatened to spill over at those words. I knew about her weaknesses and her chance of surviving the Games weren't good, I knew. As I watched, stricken and suddenly finding myself crying for the life of my friend who was so much more than my friend, she headed for the door. No!

I pulled her back, hand gripping her arm, suddenly furious and in danger of phasing. I took a deep breath to get my temper back under control. "Are you _mad_?"

"No. Now will you tell me? Then, I won't go.", she said in a reasonable tone.

I was beyond annoyed and frustrated because I had gotten myself into a situation where I couldn't back out due to her safety but couldn't go in because of my agreement to Jane and Alec.

 _Screw the bloodsuckers._ Bella means way more to me than punishment. What I haven't thought about, I realized as I looked back on it, was what would happen to Bella herself when I tell her.

I tried to stall, to change the subject. I knew it was useless, but still, I tried. "Argh. You're driving me crazy. You _are_ crazy."

Her answer proved my assumption correct. "Thanks. Now can you please answer me?"

I sighed, quietly, not loud enough for her to hear. Oh why, oh why, have I gotten myself into the situation? I took a quiet deep breath and prepared for the worst as I said, "Fine! What is the other name, do you think, for bloodsucker?"

Her answers didn't surprise me. "Um.... I dunno.", she said, her voice showing her genuine honesty, before adding, "Vampire? Or leeches?"

"Vampires. But I like to call them leeches and bloodsuckers.", I said, happily adding in my genius and insulting nicknames. Trying one more futile attempt to make her stop bothering me with this topic anymore, I said, whining, "God do I have to answer you?"

Her answers didn't surprise me one bit. She can be pretty stubborn when she wanted to. "For one, yes, you do."

"Two, you're telling me vampires are real? You've got to be kidding me." Inexplicably, her voice grew a lot louder. Fear spiked my heart and would've given any human my age a _serious_ heart attack. The witch twin mustn't hear her. They mustn't.

Unable to help myself, I scolded her, "Shh!"

I thought I was done. I was relieved. If only it was that easy.

"Then, are you another supernatural creature? If so, what are you? How do you know what Edward is?", she asked me.

I tried not to show my horror. No. I couldn't tell her. I wanted to be out of this situation. So I tried one last time, being perfectly honest. "I can't tell you."

Bella was annoyed, I could see. But what I said was true. Like a child, she pouted and demanded, " _Tell me!_ "

I shook my head, fighting to hold onto my willpower and not give in and tell her. Another thought weeded its way into my brain. What if she doesn't like me for what I am? What if she resent me for keeping this from her for so long? Would she be scared of me? Repulsed of me? All the more reason to not tell her. I became nervous.

Internally, I shook my head to clear away the thoughts. They would not help me now; only served to cloud over logic and destroy my willpower.

To my surprise, her voice became soft and so did her eyes, her expression. She reached out and touched my face, sending an electric shock through my body to my bones. "Please?"

My willpower crumbled as I sighed. The desire to satisfy her needs was so strong, there was no refuse. Why didn't I imprint on this angel the first day I met her? Why? If Bella isn't good for me, then, who is? Who will be my imprint?!?

Forcing myself back to the present and stop complaining about the fact that I didn't imprint on her, I laughed bitterly before saying, "I'll show you what I am." I started stripping, not wanting to ruin my clothes, not that I care about them. Bella turned away and I warned, "Now, step back."

I began to tremble, heat building in my stomach. It trembled down my spine and sent tight spasms down my limbs as the heat flooded through me and I exploded into my wolf self. I nudged her colder-than-mine-but-normal-for-humans-temperature hand gently.

She turned around and her eyes widened. "Jacob? Is that you?", she finally whispered. It may be just a tiny hesitation for her but every second stretched as I stared at her, afraid she wouldn't accept me. Rebuke me for what I am.

I lowered my head if what I thought would be a human nod.

"Oh my god!", she shrieked. "You're a werewolf?"

Oh no. For crying out loud, why wouldn't she understand? "Will you be quiet? Jane and Alec are leeches who have acute hearing and if they find out I told you about us, you and I are dead. You have no idea what Jane can do.", I warned her, trying to tell her the danger we were both in because I told her about the supernatural world without telling her exactly the threat.

Footsteps echoed in the kitchen and plates clanged. I'd never heard those before but I was more alert, knowing I was breaking the law but couldn't help it. Knowing we might get caught in seconds and there was no way to lie our way out. I was alert and heard or smelled absolutely _everything._ But I still didn't smell the bloodsuckers until it was too late.

"She doesn't but she'll find out.", Jane's cold but angelic voice announced from my the borken, debris-filled doorway.

"You told her, didn't you? We stood and still stand by our rules, followed them, when you didn't? So much for being the good guys.", Alec said in a accusing tone next to Jane. "And leeches, aren't we? We are so much more better than those filthy animals."

I could barely pay attention to them. Barely registered what they said. _They found out about this_. We are about to die. I braced myself for Jane's or Alec's gift and prepared to phas at any time to dddefend Bella. I would take all the pain in the world for her. If only she felt the same for me. _But you can't dwell on your daydreams for now. She'll like or love whoever she wants. Right now, your job is to defend her. Act brave._

I squared my shoulders and forced my terrified expression into a sneer like Alec's. "I only call you that because your diets are similar."

Jane turned to Bella and I visibly stiffened. "How much do you know?"

The expression on Bella's face was a million miles away and she didn't seem to have paid attention to anything Jane said, much less answer it. _Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. Come on, Bella. Answer. Answer with a_ smart _statement or with question, if you know how. I don't but you're way smarter than I. You can lie your way out of this. Please._

Her answer was the worst one she could've come up with. "I'm sorry. What?"

 _No! No, no, no, no, no! How am I going to spare her the pain? Or the upcoming death?_ I couldn't hold back to groan that escaped my lips. I began to panic and my thoughts were beginning to become incoherency. I forced them back to coherency.

"Pay attention, for crying out loud. You have no idea what she can do to you if you anger her.", I muttered, warning her, hoping against hope that Jane would accept the undeserved respect in my words and leave Bella alone. Liek I could get so lucky.

Jane's answer terrified me and I got read to phase, the heat already spreading down my spine and into my limbs. Just let it explode and take control of me and I'll be a wolf in a second. "Unfortunately, she has already angered me." She turned and smiled at Bella. _My Bella._

_No!_

I phased and launched myself at Jane and felt the pain from last night burn in my veins again. I held back to shriek this time, for Bella. I writhed silently on the floor, fire consuming me again, as Jane used her gift on me.

Dimly, through the cloud of pain over my sense and thoughts, I heard Bella scream, "What are you doing to him? Stop!"

_What was she thinking? Does she want to feel what I am feeling? Is she crazy?_

The pain disappeared, replaced by fear. Jane had turned her gaze back to Bella. I tried to move but couldn't. I watched helplessly, eyes wide with fear, as we all watched Bella.

Nothing happened and my face, once rigid with fear, relaxed. Jane had no effect on Bella.

Jane was beyond furious. She gave Bella a death glare, hissing, "You will pay for this. Because, after all, we are you mentors."

I wanted to scream at her, tell her it wasn't true, that she can't rig the Games, that she wasn't allowed to rig the Games but I knew better. I didn't want to anger her and I knew she could rig the Games. Her "father" was the president after all. _The All-powerful President of Panem._ , I added bitterly to myself.

Jane turned to me. I almost laughed out loud at the twisted expression of fury on her face- it didn't belong there, on the face of a child, or what had once been a child. "You. You have broken the law. You must be punished. The President will personally _make_ sure you get your deserved punishment."

They turned and left. I phased back and pulled on clothes, my face grim. I knew Jane and Alec wasn't kidding when they warned us we were going to face doom. I wasn't bothered. My kind has outsmarted those arrogant leeches before; I could always do it again.

Suddenly smiling widely, I said "I can't believe Jane has no effect on you. It must be driving her crazy." The witch twins must be furious and frustrated. It was all I could do to not start guffawing and chortling but it was hard.

Bella looked so sad. I wanted to turn the frown upside down but didn't know how. Amber came in minutes after, telling us- "It's time for training."- that it was time for training, being too-bright.

I nodded and left the room. Thinking about outsmarting bloodsuckers took my thoughts to the other one, the vegetarian one, Edward. _What will happen in the arena?_ , I wondered. _I know I'll try ,y best to defend Bella but is my best enough? What would that bloodsucker- Edward- do in training?_

We'll find out.

** Edward's POV **

I had to skip breakfast that day. Every time I saw another human, the delicious smell of Isabella Swan's blood would flood my brain, ridding me of any common sense, making me dangerous and lethal to all other humans.

So I sat on my bed, waiting for training to come, refining my plan of how to speak to Isabella when we meet in the Training Center. I knew the hours there would be long and extremely hard with the thirst, especially the talk with Isabella, but I will not attack anybody. I will not disappoint Carlisle.

* * *

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. This chapter is vital to the story but it's all dialogue and emotional action. No physical action. I also hate Jacob so it pains me to write his point of view. I originally planned Edward to do the talking and telling but once I read the Midnight Sun draft on Stephenie Meyer's website, I knew I couldn't construct such a sophisticated conversation so I made Jacob do it. I hope the dialogue is realistic; I've never written so much dialogue and I suck at writing it. But I guess practice makes perfect and I'll try to update the next chapter as soon as possible. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it!

 

 


	7. Chapter 5- Training

Bella's POV

I stepped through the doorway of the Training Center. This was my one and only chance to learn new things, not that I need it since I have been training for this since I was 8. But it was also probably my one and only chance to talk to Edward, possibly Edward Cullen, and find answers. My chance to decided should I try going after him first thing in the arena for revenge or hold off until I had to kill him, so I would win the Games.

There's a big chance that Jacob or some other Career you guys are going to ally with would kill you before you can kill him. Then, you won't win., countered the uncertain and horrible voice in my head. What I would give to shut it up and make what it says false. Sadly, I couldn't. It mutter things in my head, taking down my self-esteem and making me uncertain. The most horrible part of all the muttering was that everything, every single word it uttered inside me, was true.

When the rest of the tributes entered, a woman named Atala, apparently the head trainer, stepped up and began explaining the training schedule. I listened carefully. It suddenly hit me that the schedule was exactly like the one Charlie created for me when I started training.

My eyes burned and tears threatened to fall. I bit my lip and blinked furiously, desperate to hold back the tears that was close to falling at the familiarity, the aching in my chest, the flooding of those painful emotions- pain, grief, loss that weighed down on my chest like a boulder and stabbed my heart like a knife- that had struck me time and time again after my father and my teacher died.

We were allowed to go anywhere and do anything, following the instructions of you mentors if they have them- or if they cared, in my case- but we were not able to engage in any combative activity with other with other tributes; there are fighting partners to practice with.

We were dismissed and I, knowing Jane and Alec could care less about what we do and what would be good for us, would be mentor-free and could go anywhere. I would still have appreciated it if there was someone who have won the Games advice me on what to learn but I doubt Jane and Alec had paid any attention to these stations at all when they were the tributes here. They had no need. 

As I looked around at the survival skills, the fighting techniques stations, I realized I didn't need to go to any of them. I had learned them all during training. Silently, I thanked my father.

You may be out of practice though. Don't practice knife throwing. Safe it for the Gamekeepers. Keep it a secret from the other tributes. Go practice. Don't waste time., whispered the critical voice of Charlie. I could feel my eyes tearing up again. I will not cry., I told myself. I won't. I am a Career tribute.

I head to the weapons with the other Careers, it seems, and practice throwing them, handling them. I noticed with satisfaction that after two years without using the weapons, I'm still very capable.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I watched Edward as he floated from station to station, seeming bored and was staying at them longer than needed so he could keep up the human facade.

It's amazing how you were blinded to this hidden world for so long, never knew it was real, and when somebody reveals the truth to you, it's as if this other world has always been there, like it was obvious it was there, like it's impossible to not miss the signs everywhere.

"So.", drawled a blonde-haired boy whom I assumed came from District 1, startling me out of my thoughts. "You, lover girl. Wanna be allies or not? You know, take down all the pathetic little hunks of meat over there before we turn on each other? Victoria"- he nodded at the girl from his district with flaming red hair and a rather arrogant expression- "and I already agreed so you'll have to be allies with both of us."

I didn't like him or Victoria. Or their attitude or anything about them, to be honest. I opened my mouth to say, one, my name's not "lover girl" and two, to reject his offer, say I'll rather ally with the Careers from District 4 when Jacob answered for us. Shooting me a look, he answered, "Bella"- Jacob emphasized my name to inform James my name isn't "lover girl"- "and I already agreed to be allies so you'll have to accept both of us. Is that okay? If it is, then, sure! We'll love to James!"

James nodded, satisfied. He held out his hand and so did Victoria and we all shook hands like little kids pretending to be serious, business-like adults.

I grabbed Jacob and dragged him a little distance from them with the excuse of trying out the camouflage station.

I had no artistic talent so I definitely needed to work on that.

I actually had no special talent at all- I wasn't the best tribute for the Hunger Games there is in District 1,2 or 4; I didn't have any musical talent or anything else. I was just plain and unnoticeable, not standing out but not being horribly bad at everything either. Everything was mediocre about me.

The mentor at the station flinched from fear at the sight of us. I couldn't help but grin.

"I don't like James or Victoria. Can't we just ally with the District 4 tributes?", I hissed, pretending to be coloring my body with different paints to make me blend in.

"Their work with weapons are insane. Seriously. There's no way we can overcome them without showing what I really am and that would cause us both certain deaths by the Capitol even if we survive the Games. Allying with them would give us the time needed to plan how to take them down. And after that we'll...." He trailed off. 

I didn't want to think about the fact that I'll have the kill Jacob in the arena or he kills me. Knowing his secret has caused me to care about him once more. At least one of us wouldn't be able to survive, come out of the Games alive.

That thought hurt though I have never thought of him more than a friend. I pushed it away.

I drew mindless lines on my arms, nothing compared to the sophistication of Jacob's work.

I felt Jacob stiffen and turned around to glare at someone. Of course, he still had to keep up being an arrogant person and he has been doing that a lot since two years ago so it really wasn't a strange action for the arrogant Jacob to do. He would glare when he's in a bad mood or hates the person or they actually did do something to offend him- things that I thought was silly but Jacob thought was a big deal and made a big deal out of.

"Greetings, Isabella", a gentle velvet voice spoke from behind me.

I whirled around.

Edward stood with his pale, chalk-white hands clasped behind him and a pleasant smile on his face. His eyes were burning, scorching, a melting gold, that turned my thoughts into incoherency and I couldn't help but stare at his face, mesmerized by those golden eyes, as he looked back at me.

I could feel my face heating up with my easy blush. "Oh. Um...." I struggled to form words and finally coughed up and answer, a lame one. "Hi."

He didn't offer a hand for me to shake. Why? I have never touched Jane or Alec's or any vampire's hands before though I now realize Jacob's hands are hotter than the average human. What temperature, texture would the hand of a vampire have?, I wondered.

I noticed Edward had a strangely frustrated expression in his eyes as he examined my face and, when they flickered to Jacob, hostile. "Can we speak in a place a little more private?", he asked Jacob. I was shocked by his carefully composed and polite manner and tone of voice.

Jacob glared at him and said curtly, "Fine. But you better bring her back alive."

Edward flinched and nodded. "Thank you. I will bring her back alive, no matter how hard it pains me."

I wondered what that meant.

He lifted a hand and waved me towards him as he drifted walked away, movements amazingly sinuous and graceful. I walked forward as if dragged by a magnetic pull, feeling remorse as I watched his graceful steps forward, knowing I'll never be able to be beside him and look like I belong there. At least not as a human. There's no way Jacob would let you change. Even if you wanted to. Which you probably won't., I told myself.

We reached a far corner in the room and he leaned against the wall, casually folding his arms across his chest.

My mouth was dry and I forced myself to speak. "So. What'd you want to talk to me about?"

He ducked his head to my eye level and I could feel my face heating up. "Carlisle's sorry, Isabella. For what the ignorance he beared your father that day when you were sixteen. I want to know if there's anything one of the Cullen family could do for you, however small or big, to make up for your loss."

So he was the son of Carlisle. I had guessed correctly. Not that I cared at the time.

All I saw was red. I didn't bother to tell him I liked being called Bella. I didn't care that I was going to scold a vampire who could kill me with a twitch of his hand and fighting to keep my voice low, I spoke, "Carlisle left Charlie to die. And you know where that landed me? Two years of abuse and training deprivation from my mother. You think that saying sorry"- I snarled the word-"and doing some deed for me would make it alright?"

Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought of my father again. I furiously blinked them back. I will not cry in front of him.

He didn't look surprised at my outburst, his face perfectly expressionless, and nodded. "I know that we will never be able to make up for the ignorance that day. I understand. We, Carlisle especially, are truly guilty and sorry. Just remember that we owe you and if there's anything you need, you can ask us."

His calmness cooled me down also and I was embarrassed for speaking to him like that.

He walked back towards the camouflage station, towards Jacob, James and Victoria, and beckoned when I didn't followed. I quickly went after him. When we reached the station, I opened my mouth to say sorry but he just nodded politely to the mentor at the station, Jacob and I before going back to where he was before.

As I watched his retreating figure, I felt so strangely sad. I couldn't focus on what I was doing and picked at my food during lunch, trying hard but failing at trying to be normal.

He never spoke to me again.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye during training and for as long as I can before he was out of sight.

Jacob knew me too well but didn't try to pursue the subject until we were alone.

"You're acting so weird. What did he say to you?", Jacob said.

"Oh. Nothing important.", I lied. But I was a horrible liar, always have been, and he saw right through my pretenses.

"Don't lie to me. What did he say to you?", Jacob said through gritted teeth, grabbing my arm as I tried to walk away.

I wrenched it out of his grasp. "Leave me alone", I snapped. "You know me well enough to know that I would tell you when I want to or when I'm ready. And I am not ready, okay?"

Jacob didn't bothered the subject again, to my immense relief.

I felt so regretful as I picked at my food during dinner, thoughts wandering again and again to Edward, with his velvet voice and polite manner. But I couldn't take back the words I said to him.

No matter how much I wish I could.

Edward's POV

I stalled as long as I can, afraid of the idea of seeing Isabella Swan again, afraid of the idea of smelling her blood again, to feel the burn of her blood in my throat, afraid of the bare control.

How much better it would be if I could hunt here. But drinking humans would only cause my control to lessen., I thought wistfully to myself.

I knew I couldn't stall any longer. I will not disappoint Carlisle., I chanted to myself. It became a mantra, a chant, as I walked to the Training Room. I will make sure I won't disappoint Carlisle.

I stepped through the door, but not before sucking in a breath from outside the Center. Clean air not yet saturated with Isabella Swan's scent.

I joined the group of tributes around Atala, holding my breath and slightly shifting my shoulders so I at least look like I was breathing.

We were released and, ignoring Woof and Cecelia, I floated around and learned from different stations, staying as long as I needed to keep up the human facade though I was able to easily memorize and master each skill.

The mentors were either staring at me because of my handsomeness or shying away due to the other feeling I radiated and even though their conscious mind doesn't register the danger around them, their subconscious did.

My breath was held the entire time, not daring to breath just yet, glaring at anyone who tried to make conversation with me so I could save my air for when I talked to Isabella and communicating with nods and- occasionally- shrugs.

I knew I had to talk to Isabella sooner or later. Why not get the weight of my shoulders now?

As I neared them, I heard the werewolf, Jacob, whose name I learned from listening to his thoughts and their conversation, talking with Isabella though he called her Bella. I wonder why?

They were obviously very close, from Jacob's thoughts to their way of conversation and easy talking, and I felt jealousy born and grow inside my heart, multiplying hundreds of time until past the point of the amount a human could bear- it's part of becoming a vampire and luckily, I am not human- until I felt like snapping the werewolf's neck so I could have her all to myself.

Why would I feel jealousy, of all things? She was a killer, a Career, for the love of all that's holy!

Jacob's wet dog smell has not found its way into my nose yet and neither did her delicious scent, thankfully, though the urge to kill the natural enemy in front of me was just as strong.

There was no sound where she was supposed to be, no sound of thoughts. Why?

Steadying myself, I spoke softly through my teeth, using some of the air I caught from outside the Center, "Greetings, Isabella." Catching myself just before calling her Bella like she apparently likes to be called because I wasn't supposed to know her nickname.

Jacob glared at me and she whirled around, surprised.

"Oh. Um.....Hi.", she replied as red crept up her neck to her face, lighting it up to a beautiful color. What was she thinking?, I wondered, suddenly frustrated. What caused that blush?

I didn't offer her a hand to shake, as was the polite greeting of two strangers. I knew she would be repulsed by the coldness, smoothness, hardness and most of all, strangeness of my skin.

I vaguely noticed the hostility I looked at the werewolf with. Why couldn't I hear her thoughts?

I finally noticed things that I couldn't notice from far away, the way I was only able to look at her during the only time I could- the Tribute Parade. Bella had a silent beauty that captured my eyes, a pair of deep and expressive brown eyes, atypical in the world of brown eyes where almost all people who have depthless brown eyes. Almost. With one exception. Bella Swan. How could she be a killer, of all things?

At least you have something in common with her., a cold voice that hated the very being I am whispered inside me. I couldn't listen to that voice now.

"Can we speak in a place a little more private?", I asked Jacob, carefully composing my polite tone of voice.

She seemed shocked. At what?

Jacob just continued glared at me and said curtly, "Fine. But you better bring her back alive."

I flinched at the reminder of her body, cold and dead in my arms, her warm blood rushing down my throat, making me feel warm and human for a second before the feeling fades. My throat ached for her blood. You will never drink her blood. You haven't drank any human's blood in centuries. Don't start bow.

I nodded to Jacob. "Thank you. I will bring her back alive, no matter how hard it pains me.", using the rest of my air. I'll have to take another breath later. Keep your control. Don't disappoint Carlisle.

I will bring her back alive. I won't allow any other way.

I lifted a hand and waved Bella towards me as I walked away, desperate to be as far from her as could count as polite to talk another gulp of air so I could speak. I heard her clumsy footsteps behind me and suddenly thought, She would be so mush less clumsy if she was to become a vampire. But to take away her humanity, to make her as cold and hard and spineless and soulless and monstrous as we are, would be the most selfish thing I could ever do. There was no way she was changing. I won't allow it even is she wanted to, which I doubt.

I took a deep breath, wincing as her scent hit me like that first time just yesterday- like a wrecking ball-, and fire raced down my throat. I swallowed hard as excessive venom flooded my mouth and reached my destination, Bella a few feet behind me.

I leaned against the wall, casually folding my arms across my chest. I thought- a hypothesis- being closer to her than safe would allow me to figure out her mind and how she thinks but it turned out to be wrong. Why can I not understand her or hear her thoughts? Though her eyes are expressive, they made it still hard to decipher the reason behind the feelings or simply what the feelings were.

I waited sometime, waiting for her to speak first without making it obvious. She did, nervously. "So. What'd you want to talk to me about?"

That was a question I was expecting, even hoping, to hear. I ducked my head to her eye level, as that was the well-mannered way when apologizing during the time I grew up and because she was shorter than me, and I could see her face heating up, the blood pooling easily in her cheeks. It'll be so nice to have that blood rushing down my throat right now., complained the monster whom I have suppressed for centuries. No.

I spoke my lines, not expecting an easy, careless, emotionless response from her. "Carlisle's sorry, Isabella. For what the ignorance he bore your father that day when you were sixteen. I want to know if there's anything one of the Cullen family could do for you, however small or big, to make up for your loss."

"Carlisle left Charlie to die. And you know where that landed me? Two years of abuse and training deprivation from my mother. You think that saying sorry"- she snarled the word though she was like a kitten thinking she was a tiger- "and doing some deed for me would make it alright?"

She blinked furiously. She is going to cry., I noticed though I didn't get why I felt so sad- the sharp pang in my chest proved that- when she whisper-yelled at my like that though I was expecting it.

Alice's parting words whispered in my head again, By the way, try not to become particularly fond of anybody going with you into the arena. It'll just hurt you more when they die.

Is this what she meant? That would be horrible. Every second, every moment I spend with her, I put her in more danger.

I studied her face, knowing that I now made her hate me, which caused another sharp pang in my chest. I wanted to blame Carlisle, that he should have apologized himself, not use me but quickly pushed the thought away. I managed to keep my face perfectly expressionless- I was expecting a like answer so it was somewhat easy because I already practiced it, I was a good liar and she didn't know me all that well-, and forced my head to nod despite the sudden emptiness that had opened up inside me at her words. "I know that we will never be able to make up for the ignorance that day. I understand. We, Carlisle especially, are truly guilty and sorry. Just remember that we owe you and if there's anything you need, you can ask us.", I said, perfectly delivering my carefully planned lines.

I waves her towards me and we walked back. She wanted to say something, I could see, but I knew what she was going to say would jus make it that much harder for so I just nodded at the mentor, Jacob and Bella, feeling jealousy curl and lash out savagely underneath my carefully perfected polite surface facade, and walked away, fighting my curiosity for what she was going to say.

I didn't speak to her again though I wished I could, trying hard to cut my feelings for her though I knew it was impossible. You can't ruin her life like this. She deserves a chance at humanity, a chance to lead a human life.

I just laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling, with a hollow feeling and jealousy twisting inside me, waiting for the Interviews.

Tomorrow, the Games will began. What will happen?

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Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I'm sorry for any mistakes; I wrote this when I was super tired and I haven't been able to check it yet. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!


	8. Chapter 6- Gamemakers

Author's Note: I had hoped one of you would know the answers to my questions posted in the author's note I soon deleted but there were no replies to them. But I love this story and decideI'll just go with whatever I got off Internet. So please, if there are anything you think is inaccurate, let me know. Also, I highly recommend you read a Twilight Fanfiction called Blood Moon. It is in my reading list and if you decide to read it, enjoy, because I did. Thank you to every one of you who have voted, commented or at least read this story! You are the reason this story continues to be written, gave the encouragements that make my finger long for the keys of my laptop so I could finish yet another chapter. Hope you enjoy the next chapter!

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** Edward's POV **

I escaped into my room before anyone could bother me after I returned from that first day of training.

During the course of the next two days, I had grown an unhealthy obsession over Bella Swan- my attraction to her and the puzzle of her mind.

I was in fierce contradiction to my feelings for her.

 _Every second you spend with her puts her in more danger.,_ I told myself again and again.

I tried to argue. _Too bad. You're stuck with her because you have been chosen to go with her into the Games._

I didn't know, couldn't decided, if it was a good thing or bad thing.

_You put her in danger._

_You have to protect her in the arena._

_She doesn't need you to protect her. Except from yourself. She has the werewolf and her own Career skills to protect her from the external dangers aside from those of the supernatural world._

I winced at the thought. It was a good thing, morally right, for her to choose him over me. But it didn't make it any easier to try to force myself to accept the truth; a knife to my heart wouldn't be a strong enough description. The hole she would've filled opened larger, gained depth, until it tunneled a chasm through my heart and very being.

She was watching me. I could tell. I could feel her gaze burning into the back of my neck and it made me nervous- every time I felt _nervous_ during the last two days, I would have to force back a chuckle at myself.

Her beautiful, stumbling walk, her graceful, eloquent speech, her easy blush, her silent mind. When I heard her say my name to the werewolf, I _liked_ the way my name sounded on her lips. Musical. _Good._ Even though I _wasn't_ good. I was happy that she actually defended me in front of the werewolf, treated me like an equal person instead of a freakish alien, think I was worth paying attention to, causing some deep, unfamiliar feeling to bloom in my chest.

I knew that the attraction was real now. Alice had said as much. But what really hurt was that I couldn't be with her. Because every moment, every second, every minute I spend with her, I put her in more danger. _I can't allow that._

 _And if you be with her and when she dies, and Alice has already warned you about this, you will hurt and suffer eternally._ I laughed bitterly at that thought. It wasn't as if I wouldn't hurt if she dies now.

Still, unable to help myself, I watched her through the clearest eyes there was on the District 2 floor, Jane and Alec, but their heads were filled with cold, murderous thoughts. I was _incensed-_ what had she ever done to them?-  but also afraid, for Bella. I knew what Jane and Alec are capable of- the Volturi have ruled our kind for as long as Carlisle has been alive, which is a very long time indeed- and I'm suddenly glad of the werewolf child downstairs with Bella.

But I still wondered. _Why? They are the Volturi so these thoughts don't surprise me. But what did happened that  caused these thoughts to suddenly spring up?_

 _That girl. Why doesn't my gift work on her?,_ Jane thought repeatedly, frustrated.

The breath I was unconsciously holding whistled through my teeth in relieve. Jane's gift doesn't work on Bella either. Neither did mine. I'm guessing Alec's doesn't work either. _Why?_ There was so much unknown and new things about this mysterious girl.

 _She knows too much. She and the boy will pay._ , Alec thought to himself. A hollow feeling curled in my stomach. The werewolf boy told her. I could feel my face contorting with horror and dread. As much as I hoped she wouldn't betray us, she was still a virtual stranger whom I don't know very much about; she was a Career, grown up in District 2 though she had proven that she wasn't who I think she was. _What will she do?_

Why didn't Alice tell me about this yet? _Maybe the choice hasn't been made yet._ That seemed like a possible reason.

I tried watching her through Mike's eyes though the thoughts were repulsing so I switched between Jane and Alec, Jacob and Mike though they all didn't seem to see her too often.

Deep, human, teenager feelings has been surfacing on top of the shreds of humanity I managed to hang on to when I changed. Jealousy. Lust. Interest. Affection. Maybe even love. Human feelings multiplied a hundred times, feelings I was not accustomed to and found hard to control and press down. It hurts that all I could do was watch from a distance, longing pulling at my heart strings and making it hard to focus on anything but what I wanted.  Not her blood this time. The human way. But I can't. Because I's put her in danger. And I will not allow that. _When will the misery end once it started?,_ I wondered as the yearning swirled in the hole in my heart, waiting for Bella, where Bella would've filled it in if we were the same.

I wanted to know her better, find out her personality, history, all those things that Jacob knows without effort.

Another jet of envy shot through my heart at the sound of the boy's name in my thoughts.

I looked back on her yelling at me this morning in the Center, the first time we talked. She had said she was landed with years of abuse.

Seeing Bella in pain made me wince myself, made my frozen, silent heartache. I couldn't believe it. Anger burned in my heart, directed at Carlisle. _Why did he leave her dad that wretched night?_ He never told us _why_ , just that he did leave an innocent man to die in the snow and that he was guilty and sorry.

Abuse was a part of her childhood, what made her purer and better than most other Careers.

She was shy. I could see that by the way she stammered when I talked to her during training. I would still have to prove that later though there are plenty of chances. The Interviews are coming up, after all.

The escort walked in and smiled brightly. "Edward! You have to show your skills to the Gamemakers!"

I groaned internally. I didn't want to show off. Showing off was rude. I didn't need the score. I'll live whether they gave me an 1 or a 12.

Sighing, I got ready and arrived at the dining room, staying as far away from the human food as possible, moving my shoulders up and down while holding my breath to prevent or reduce any chance of harming Bella.

One by one, the tributes before me disappear and never came back into the same room. I knew there was an advantage for me to seeing what they could do so I tuned the thoughts of the Gamemakers out. I was too focused on Bella's every move to try and figure out why the other tributes disappeared; I'll find out when I"disappear" myself. Instead, I watched Bella's every movement, memorizing the way she walked and talked and smiled and blushed. When the werewolf had squeezed her hand, my teeth snapped and clenched together vise.

I watched as she turned her head to gaze at me and flushed. _Hm... I wondered what she's thinking right now._

Then, it occurred to me that staring out right at somebody was not polite in the slightest sense. So I turned my head the other way and continued my work through the eyes of the District 3 tributes.

She was called and in response, she walked clumsily to the door.

 _May the odds be ever in your favor, Isabella Swan.,_ I yelled in my head playfully as I watched her enter.

It was my turn. I stepped through the doorway and, immediately, scents of my kind wafted into my nose. Fear overtook me and racked my body until it became a statue in front of the door. _It can't be._

 _Where's Bella?_ , I thought, panicked. There are vampires here. _Vampires._ Vampires who don't live the same way my father, mother, sister, and brother figures do. Vampires who drink human blood freely. Vampires to whom Bella's blood may appeal to. My body went cold at the thought and the hole in my chest opened into a yearning black hole. But I had to make sure, even if it would hurt me more when I found out she's gone. I took a deep whiff and listened carefully for her heartbeat. And I both smelled and heard her. I relaxed, the hole returned to its former size, the fear dissolved, immediately, as her scent hit me like a battle ram and made fire race down my throat, made excessive venom pool in my mouth. As long as I burned, she's alive and well. And that's what counts for me. I'll suffer eternally for her.

That hesitation, that moment of fear, was only a few seconds but long enough to catch attention. No vampire would hesitate that long.

Some of the Gamemakers looked at me with boredom, and the human ones, very rare, maybe one or two among them, fascination or interest. They hadn't had a vampire or werewolf in here in a while because most either work in the Capitol or, like us, are scattered thinly over many Districts. _This year probably broke their records._ , I thought, amused. _Both a vampire_ and _a werewolf. And, not just any vampire. An_ animal _-blood drinking vampire._

A thought occurred to me. Werewolves were the vampire's natural enemy. What score did Jacob get? I had to clench my teeth back from the chuckles.

They fascination and interest on their faces quickly returned to boredom. I was _just_ another vampire. Nothing special. I noticed most of the vampires were now only paying attention to me because they had to and because that was the polite thing to do but I could tell they wanted to be anywhere but here. I decided to show off my gift, something I'm proud of, to surprise them.

I listened carefully. _Who's this? The one who got the attention that last night? Good for him._

Oh. I knew him. He probably didn't recognize me but I do him. He was simply accepted into the Volturi simply for his fighting skills. A cruel, ruthless, brutal fighter. Just like a _normal_ Career. _Bella would be a_ not _normal Career.,_ I thought, amused. I answered his thought out loud, using his name in my answer. "Yes, Sir"- I tried not to add any sarcasm to make it sound rude; it was difficult to do indeed for I didn't like him- "Felix. It happens that I caught some attention last night. And I thank you for your congratulations."

He stared at me like I had suddenly grown a second head. A mind-reading gift was not new to them for another vampire, Aro, Felix's own leader, the leader of the Volturi and the President of Panem, has one too. Though he has to touch you to hear every thing you ever saw or thought in your entire life. Well, existence because vampires were technically dead. There were never two identical gifts.

Carlisle has a theory about vampire gifts. He thinks that our strongest talent from when we were human would become our gift, a thousand times stronger, multiplied along with our senses and minds and, according to Rosalie, it was the most important thing of the change, our beauty. And because everybody's talent is different, everybody's mind works differently, there were no identical gifts. Of course, it was just a theory but it seemed to be correct.

 _Oh! Wow. Um..... You're welcome?_ , Felix thought, confused and scrambling to have coherent thoughts in his shock.

I moved on and focused on another Gamemaker. _Cool gift. I wish I had one like that! I would hear what everybody is thinking. It would be so convenient in my line of work though my beauty and gift is also pretty useful._ , Heidi thought. Another Volturi. I wondered how much of the Volturi guards were Gamemakers. Heidi's main job was to bring humans for the vampires of the Capitol to feast on and she would lure them in with job offers and amazing sight-seeing. All for free! Wow! Note sarcasm.

Most of their victims were from the poorer Districts, where their hunger and starvation drove them to the point of desperation, when they would accept almost anything and do anything for a consistent food supply and a comfortable and warm place to sleep in.

"Thank you for you compliment on my gift, Lady Heidi." I tried not to sound strangled for she was a self-absorbed person, even more so than Rosalie, making me hate Heidi. At least Rosalie still cares about some of the people in her life. Heidi was cold and cruel but aren't all the Volturi that way? Isn't cold and cruel that caused Aro to start the Games tradition in the first place? That's why I hate the Volturi. They had no respect for human lives. I continued, "Yes, I am in total agreement. Your beauty-" I tried not to gag; _Bella_ was the most beautiful in the world- "and charm are very potent and useful indeed. May they serve you the best of wishes and purposes."

A few more answers to their thoughts, after revealing I was the "son" of Carlisle, I was dismissed to muttering and murmurs in the crowd. I smiled to myself as I walked through the exit. I _had_ caused an impression on the Gamemakers. A cold thought killed my tiny moment of happiness. If I made an impression, would I make the expectations from each tribute higher? Would I take down Bella's score?

I hurried back to my floor and was given the Interviews score.

Bella got an 10. The other Careers' points are around that range. There were a variety of points and I was amused as I analyzed my face- suddenly noticing I look _old_ despite my seventeen-years-old features- staring at me from the screen. A number 10 flashes on the screen. I smiled to myself, a decent score but not high enough the catch attention. Still low enough for me to blend in.

That night, I sneaked down to Bella's bedroom. I couldn't stopped myself. I watched as she laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, making me increasingly frustrated. _What was she thinking?_ It sounded like she aimed for an eleven or twelve; to please her dead father. She was also whispering about being mediocre, never standing out, never special or good at anything, always being plain and boring, a _nobody_ who would die hours into the Games.

How I beg to differ.

 _I should have done worse so she could get what she wanted.,_ I repeated, voice filled with regret, inside my head.

 _But if people and I keep on doing that, she'll be spoiled and become like Lauren._ , another voice countered.

I winced. I couldn't ever compare my pure good Bella to that perverted daydreamed. It pained me to see the disappointment in her eyes, at the sound of her sighs but not able do anything.

Thankfully, she fell asleep and I watched as she tossed and turned and mumbled, all the while making fire burn my throat with a thirst for her blood. I couldn't bear to even think about drinking her now. I was too fascinated and interested by her silent mind and good personality to ever be able to give in the something as simple as thirst, something I have been able to press down for hundreds of years.

"Charlie, _move!_ Carlisle, I beg you, _please_. Please save him, please help him!"

She was remembering her father's death. "I'm sorry.", I whispered into the darkness, knowing she couldn't hear it. 

"Edward", she seemingly answered, scarily clearly, and I started, turning around, muscles tensing with nervousness, an involuntary guilty expression twisting my features before I realized that she was still asleep.

 _She's dreaming of me.,_ I thought surprised. And those warm human feelings inside me engulfed me. I was still in firm denial to what I felt for her but I couldn't denial that anymore.

It was as if I became a different man in the course of that one night. It was ad if I was a cold, unfeeling statue, now, I was a living breathing man. It doesn't make anything better though. In fact, it made thinking about leaving her and not being able to be with her even more painful.

I left hurriedly before she woke up and laid down on the bed to act like I was sleeping all night, thinking about what Alice told me and my obsession over Bella

** Bella's POV **

After three days of training, the private sessions with the Gamemakers were upon us.

Edward ignored me the whole time, pretending I wasn't there at all, as if I was invisible, as if I didn't exist. That _hurt_ as I watched him every single day and, when we had retired to our rooms, I would feel as if I'm missing something, as if I had to, at least, be watching his profile walking from station to station every moment of my life. I had never been so happy to wake up everyday to go to training.

The idea of revenge should've appealed to me, should've made my blood boil with excitement and anticipation, but it doesn't now. I didn't question it one bit for I knew it was my feelings in the way of my "just" judgement.

When I told myself that, I had argued, _If you want revenge, you should take it out on Carlisle. Not Edward._

I couldn't argue with that. I didn't want him to die, didn't want him to be killed in the arena.

 _Weak thoughts,_ I scolded myself. _You are a Career. You shouldn't care the least bit about them._

 _But I can't help it!,_ I whined inside. Whining didn't make the situation any better.

Jacob pleaded me to tell him what Edward and I said to each other to cause such distress. "Please, please, please tell me what the bloodsucker told you."

I felt anger at the nickname Jacob made for him. "In case you haven't _noticed_ , his name is Edward." I snapped angrily. "And I am not going to tell you." I paused, thinking. Should I tell him? But that conversation between Edward and I felt like something private, a secret, not to be told to outsiders.

I felt strange about calling Jacob an outsider. All my life, he was my one and only friend. So should I tell him? 

_Yes.,_ encouraged a part of me that cares for Jacob, maybe more than that. But that was too small a portion. But somebody else, someone I just met, holds the attraction of the majority.

 _No.,_ countered the majority of me.

 _Yes!,_ the Jacob voice insisted. It was losing and was striving to remain and have comebacks during this argument. _He's your best friend, by all means!_

 _He's_ Edward., the other part retaliated. _If you were to tell Jacob, he or Jacob's dead for sure. Jacob will go after him._

 _You'll save many more lives than you will take, Bella. You are kind-hearted._ Charlie's voice whispered repeatedly in my head.

I chose the option where no one would get hurt. Except Jacob's feelings. "I'm sorry, Jacob. No. I'll tell you when I want to." _When I do. Which is never. Sadly. I'm sorry, Jacob._

He groaned, frustrated. "You owe me the information, Bella. I told you everything you needed to know about vampires and werewolves and the supernatural world."

I hesitated. That was true. But once the choice was made, it was easy to follow out on it. I was sure, now. I wouldn't be convinced. "No", I answered firmly.

He stared at me pleadingly for one short fraction of a second before turning around and walking away.

"Jacob, wait!", I called after his retreating profile.

He turned back to me and I saw his eyes had hardened. "You chose the monster over me.", he said simply.

I had not reply to that for it _was_ true. _Would I do it again?,_ I wondered to myself after he was long gone. I couldn't find the answer inside me.

I cared for Jacob, he was my best friend. But Edward was just.....different. I knew that I wanted to choose Edward and only because I was afraid of hurting Jacob did the indecision form.

Would I make different choices if I never knew Jacob had feelings for me?

 _Yes._ And I'm not sure I liked who I would've chosen, firmly, without doubt, over and over again.

I have no idea how long I stood there, pondering between these two people when an Avox found me and led me back to my room, temporarily interrupting my train of thoughts and argument for it couldn't be called a debate inside me. It was all about my feelings and they weren't factual.

Once inside my room, my thinking resumed where it left out and the longer I laid there on my bed, the harder it is for me to decide, the more painful it is to think of the moment I would have to decide. My mind, or heart, was tore in two now.

Amber waltzed in and announced we were going to show off to the Gamemakers now.

Butterflies erupted inside me and queasily, I followed her out the door into the training room for the private training sessions with the Gamemakers.

I met up with Jacob and though he never spoke, I could see he seemed to have forgiven me to some degree, to my immense relief. I breathed a sigh.

We arrived and took a seat. James and Victoria were off and done at the beginning while I sat around, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. Jacob was then called, depriving me of my only comfort. He gave my hand a comforting squeeze- I tried not to think that it was more than friendship for him but still friendship for me- and left the room, leaving me alone with my depressing thoughts. Which wasn't a good thing.

 _You are going to get a 0! There's_ no _way that you'll get a high score!,_ sneered the voice at the back of my head. I flinched, wishing that what it was saying was untrue. No such thing. It continued. _You are_ Isabella Swan, _the disgraceful tribute, the One who Should Die, the One who Shouldn't Have Been Born._ Because of that, my family and I had a really hard time trying to stay hidden from attention with the Capitol.

Why do I have to be the one with the weaknesses? Renee had nothing to say about the taunts, probably agreeing inside, though, when I have returned home, crying, hurt and feeling rejected, Charlie had reassured me once that I wasn't _weak._ He said I was just have kind heart and would save instead of take many lives. Unfortunately, we weren't as alone as we thought so somebody- I don't know who but now I suspect Renee for she was the only other person in the house- had heard him and earned him a beating and a degrading in his status as a Peacekeeper. We never spoke about that subject again and Charlie could only watch while it happened and the result but I promised myself I will never cry again; I will never make Charlie goes through that again for me.

Of course, Charlie's gone but I will still keep that promise until the end of my time. I wondered how long _that_ will be, with my weaknesses and all.

I wasn't sure if keeping my promise to myself was possible now, what with the situation I'm in. With all the confusion and the initial shock at his reaction when I requested his favor that day over my friendship with Jacob and my mother and my grief over my dad, I had totally forgot I made that promise. I had already broke my promise many times.

 _I swear that I won't break it again.,_ I told myself.

I hope I keep that promise.

Because my best friend had left the room and took the only comfort I had, I willingly, because I wanted to see him, unwillingly because I was nervous that he would catch me looking, sought out Edward. I found him easily enough. He was staring at me, his golden topaz eyes filled with wonder and frustration as he watched my every move. I flushed under his intense gaze from a few feet away and he turned politely away though I had a feeling he was still watching me.

 _But how?,_ I wondered. _He turned his head the other way, to the back wall. There's no way he can still see me. Unless he has eyes on the back of his head._ A hysterical giggle bubbled to my lips at the thought and I forced it down.

The test came way too fast. After what seemed like seconds after Jacob was called, I was up next. Taking deep breathes, trying to get past the hand wrapped around my throat now, I walked inside. I had saved my skill with knife-throwing for this moment. _Make it perfect.,_ I ordered myself.

I was nervous but I knew I would excel. At least, I told myself that again and again for if I got a low score, I couldn't live with myself.

Charlie had always assured I would get a high score, not often for he was shy and was uncomfortable with sharing feelings and compliments so every time he did, I must have done something better than usual; I would be very proud of myself. Renee would also congratulate me for doing a good job; she had helped me with the chores and homework so I could get it done faster, allowing me more time to practice and training, and other bothersome things that stood in the way of training. I had thanked her every time she did it for me and she'll just wave it off. How fast people change sometimes.

My eyes swept over the people in the room. Pale skin. fluid and graceful movements. Inhuman beauty. _Vampires._ Hopefully they didn't take down much of Jacob's score. _Like there's  any hope in that._

There were also very advanced equipment. Moving dummies.

Those _would be useful.,_ I thought to myself, trying to be cheerful.

They all turned and some regarded me with interest. Others inhaled deeply and stared at me like a meal. I hated that look and it caused shivers to go up and down my body- I was a _Career,_ for goodness' sake. I shouldn't feel fear! As if that was possible as I watched these ancient people study my every move.

I hope I get this over with soon. 

"What would you like to show us, Isabella Swan?" The voice was monotonous, bored. Like Jane and Alec's.

Another shiver threatened to go through me. I forced every muscle to stay rigid and stiff.

With a trembling voice- wishing that it _wasn't_ trembling-, I replied, "May I use the moving targets and have the lights be turned off, please?"

"Yes", was the terse response of one of the crowd.

"Thank you", I choked out.

I grabbed some knives off a shelf and stood ready, facing the moving dummies.

"Are you ready?", asked a silken voice. _Like Edward's._

I had to internally smack myself over the head to get my mind back into focus.

I nodded.

"Very well"

The lights suddenly flickered off and the room was suddenly plunged into pitch darkness. I couldn't see anything but I knew the room vaguely now.

A momentary panic overtook my senses, urged me to beg them to turn the lights back on. I forced down the delirious words on my tongue, waiting to spill over, and instead, took a knife.

I listened carefully for sounds of movement.

Charlie has always said that I worked well also in the dark. I had love to practice that with him too.

And I heard it. Metallic creaking sounds as they advanced forward, towards me. I tensed and got ready.

My muscles reacted before my mind commanded it to do so and sent the knife flying. I winced, fearful but not able to do anything for the knife was already out of my hands and control, only able to hope and hoping with all my might it would land on target and at the right time. It was and I let out the air being held in my mouth and relished in the sound of it whistling through my teeth. 

It went like that for many more minutes and when the lights finally flickered back on, I noticed they were pretty surprised. I felt proud. No one has ever been able to work in the dark as well as I did.

I expected applause, I expected compliments, as watching eagerly at their faces; I didn't feel _as_ mediocre now. I could feel the excitement and pride in myself, a warm glow- as I could've jumped up and down with my excellent performance. I was so _happy;_ my feelings going sky high and left me stunned for I haven't been this joyous since Charlie died and at the unexpectedness of it. As I stood for them to answer or dismiss me, as still as I could make myself, they just quickly rearranged their faces and their answer disappointed me, brought my excitement down to Earth like a plummeting bird with a broken wing.

"You may go", was their only response.

I nodded, excitement and pride gone, my thoughts returning to the negative- telling myself I'm average, plain, a disgrace- and trying to swallow past the lump in my throat, I left the room through the exit they indicated.

I couldn't do anything except sit around and wait anxiously for my score to come out. I have to get a high score. For Charlie. I was so nervous- I caught myself biting down on my lower lip more times than I can count- and the Gamemakers reaction after my performance was not very helpful to my already low self-confidence.

Butterflies in my stomach made me sick and I could barely eat or drink anything, as I waited and waited for the scores to come out.

Jacob has continued to be a silent comfort, not speaking or making a sound, just being comforting me by his presence alone. I found myself longing for Edward instead, which lead to a long scolding from and to myself about my betrayal to Jacob.

Finally, the TV came on and the scores were announced. James and Victoria were given eights, causing outraged stomping sounds on our ceiling and disturbing fight-scene sounds.

It was our turn. I held my breath as Jacob's face flashed on. A two. What had I expected when most of the Gamemakers are vampires?

Jacob was furious, and he, like Victoria and James, stomped around the floor, swearing under his breath, which seemed funny to me, until he started muttering about how unfair, unjust, biased and prejudiced "bloodsuckers" are, sending a sudden wave of sickening anger through me- my breathing came out faster and my arms folded on their own accord, eyes narrowing at Jacob with a mid of their own. _How_ dare _Jacob called Edward that?_

I had to remind myself that not all vampires are as kind as Edward- _was_ he kind or am I just saying that because I'm totally obsessed over him? (I blushed at that thought)-, Carlisle, for example. Or the vampires- too bad for Jacob and I- who were Gamekeepers and hasn't seen anything new in centuries and centuries, bored with the same things we keep on showing them.

I realized that was the first time I admitted to myself my feelings for Edward. I was afraid of love; Renee has always warned me so.

Her voice whispered in my mind now. _Love makes you weak; gives your enemy an advantage. I should never have fallen in love with Charlie. Instead, I should've just stayed by his side peacefully and contently; we Careers know that people die too fast and we shouldn't be attached. When they leave us, we become weak, or someone we aren't supposed to be._ She had laughed bitterly before gesturing at herself. _You see this? This is what your father's death and my own foolishness got me._

I had shrunk away, scared, face weary, drawn and pale at trying to cope with this new mom.

When I had went to sleep that night, I knew that Renee may have been right, to a degree, even though she shouldn't have taken her anger out at me. I had swore to myself not to make the same mistake, not to be and do what my mother did.

I sighed internally at my weakness. How many other promises I had made to myself would I break? I had already cried once; I may have fallen for another.

My attention was suddenly drawn back to the screen when my face came on. I stared back at my eyes glaring from the screen, intimidated by the blank but fierce look in my eyes.

 _How did they get that picture of me?,_ wondered my subconscious; my main focus was on the screen and for a second, time seemed to stand still, I felt suffocated, probably because I was holding my breath.

 _What would I get?_ A repeated chant in my head.

Then, the number ten flashes on the screen and I felt an utter dismay, I could almost feel the remaining hope I had held on to drop from ground level to the center of planet Earth- a large negative number- as I watched in horror, the score mocking me from the screen.

My face disappeared almost instantly from the TV, along with my score, but I didn't need the screen to remember my score. It was burned into the back of my eyelids, into my brain, and taunted me from the confines of my memory.

"How did you get such high score?", Jacob complained repeatedly from his spot across the room where he had paced.

I didn't answer for a long time; I just stared at the long-dark screen, face ashen, in fierce denial and shock of my score.

I had promised Charlie I would get a 12. How did I get a 10?

 _You knew you were going to get a lower score anyway. So stop acting.,_ chided a cold voice in the back of my head. I flinched at the words. _You were never good enough. You are a disappointment to your District, parents, friends._

I didn't participate in dinner; I just went directly to my room, laying down to stare at the ceiling, and scolded myself, berating, putting myself down, like I always did when I had promised myself something and broke it. Which happened more after I had entered the Games and Charlie died than my entire life before.

I kept on feeling as if somebody was watching me but I couldn't put my finger on who or why somebody would do that and I couldn't bring myself to care much. All I did was lie on top of my bed and stare at the ceiling ad I put myself down for being an disgrace and breaking yet another one of my promises to Charlie.

The others had to good grace to lear me alone, except the person I suspect is  spying on me.

Hours were spent that way and night soon fell upon us. I wanted to change into something more comfortable to wear to sleep and I felt that I probably shouldn't change with somebody else in the room.

I closed my eyes and the normal scene of Charlie's death began to replay again and again and again, sending agony ripping through my chest, a monster clawing at my ribcage, making the thud of my heart dull and hollow. I had to fight the urge to scream and cry and sob like a little girl from a poorer, or more flowery and princess-y District, until I finally fell into a restless sleep.

When I woke up, the mysterious spy was gone.

To day was the Interviews; tomorrow will be the beginning of the Games. The thought sent a wave of dizziness coursing through me and I had to lean against the wall until the world stopped spinning with fear and regret.

You _are supposed to be excited and ready for the Games; you are a Career.,_ I scolded myself. _You don't feel fear._

 _Nobody is ready for the Games. And everybody feels fear once in a while.,_ I countered.

_You shouldn't feel regret your choice- it doesn't matter if you have thought it through and pondered for hours and days or if it was made on the spur of the moment- had been made and you can't change it now._

No matter how much I wish I could turn back time and un-volunteer myself.

My thoughts unconsciously turned to Edward. _You would never have met him if you didn't volunteer.,_ a part of me thought dreamily.

 _And I'm_ not _supposed to fall for him! I couldn't deny that now, no matter how hard I wish it wasn't true. He or I would die in the arena. It would hurt either you or him. Look at what Charlie's death did to Renee? You wouldn't want to become a monster._

So I decided to have nothing to do with Edward from now on, to save us both pain.

* * *

 

Author's Note: Yay! I got another chapter done! I have noticed, on average, that I update every two weeks so expect the next update to be at around that time though, sadly, I'm not making any promises because school and my teachers are unpredictable. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! 'See' you next, next week with the biggest cliffhanger of the already-written chapters!


	9. Chapter 7- Interviews

 

** Edward's POV **

The escort came in, exclaiming that I had to get ready for the Interviews.

Great. Lauren would be ecstatic to see me again.

But first comes the practicing with a mentor for the Interviews. Woof stared at me and asked me some questions. I answered with as much charm and smiles I could muster. _That_ passed by rather quickly. I didn't need the practicing. I was already practiced in the art of charming and lying.

Lauren Mallory came in and I dragged my feet to get ready for the Interviews. I dressed in appropriate clothing, trying not to wince or _accidentally_ kill Lauren when I occasionally caught an inkling of her thoughts as I dressed.

I was ready faster than the usual tribute because I knew what she wanted me to do for the Interview- only that because the other things are sort of inappropriate- before she said it so the preparations went by faster.

So I went to sit down in my room, pretend to read and just relaxed while watching Bella through Mike's eyes as little as possible with the door slightly ajar so I could smell the air wafting in from outside- a habit leftover from the earlier times when I had to be careful of everything I did and make sure I don't seem suspicious in the eyes of authority.

Lauren bustled into my room without knocking- that was very rude indeed. I heard her getting closer and I pretended to be so engrossed in the book that I didn't hear her. She "silently" made her way behind me and waited, peering over her shoulder to see what I was reading. I showed no sign I saw or heard her, on purpose; I needed to figure out if she came in here for an evil or morally wrong intent, like spying on me or trying to figure me out through subtle ways, or if she really came into my room for a serious matter.

She became impatient after a few minutes of staring at the book about photosynthesis or whatever it was talking about and spoke. _She isn't all about what she wanted, for once._ , I thought, surprised. I found out later how wrong I was.

"Who do you want to get out of the arena with you?", she asked from behind me. It shocked me- I didn't expect to hear her say it because I was trying very hard indeed to block out her thoughts, didn't think she was kind enough to help somebody else get out of the arena alive, didn't think she was able to get out of her bubble of daydreams and wants.

"I'm not sure.", I answered neutrally, trying hard to keep the raging curiosity and hope out of my voice. I might find a way to get Bella out of there alive! Hope bloomed in my chest, pushing back the misery.

"I know what you and the mentors and Jacob Black are." How? "So tell me, Edward." She said it it a "seductive" tone. It only made me wince inwardly at her disgusting advances. "Anyone, Edward, anyone. You don't have to if you truly don't want anyone to come out alive-" How could she think that when Bella's coming in here? "- but you can if you do want someone else to come out with you. Though if you and the handsome boy from District 2 follow Jessica's and my plan, you and him would owe both of us."

I knew she was manipulative. I knew she wants me. I knew that if I owed her, she would make me repay in the most gruesome ways imaginable. But I couldn't say no to that offer. Not if it meant getting Bella out of the arena alive and, hopefully, well. I knew, now, that I would do anything for her. She had that kind of effect on me.

So I told Lauren. "B-Isabella Swan." I forgot that I wasn't supposed to know her well enough to know her nickname.

Lauren frowned in disgust. "I was with her during childhood. She wasn't a very good person."

 _Of course she isn't to you. You are the definition of a perverted, insincere, lying person. Of course she would seem bad to you._ , I knew I was being impolite but couldn't seem to stop the thought. It was all I could do to not say it to Lauren. Because she would help me with Bella, for my charm or looks, I didn't want to find out. And that's something I don't want to ruin.

 _And why would she help me so I could get a person she hated out alive?_ I knew I had to look into her mind. But I couldn't hear anything underneath the storm of daydreams. So, glad for the excuse, I gave up trying to listen to her mind.

"Are you positive?", she asked me again and again.

" _Yes!"_ , I responded for the millionth time. I was sure of Bella.

"Fine." Lauren pouted, handing me a medal. "Can you give this back to her anonymously?"

I accepted it and felt my eyebrows raise. "Her father's medal for dying bravely in battle.", I recognized. Adding coldly, "How did you get this?"

She flinched at my cold tone and I mentally slapped myself. How could I be so impolite to someone who was willing to help me?

"I didn't like her very much- she took Jacob Black from me!- so, just two days after he died, I saw her sobbing over it and, to get revenge, I stole it from her." She lowered her head and fiddled with the edge of her shirt but I knew that it was just a show. She wasn't sorry or guilty. She was happy that she hurt Bella. _Why would she want to return this if she's happy about stealing it?_

I found the answer soon enough. _Oh, how much had I gotten her into for stealing that medal! I was part of the reason she was abused and whipped and tortured- because her mother thought she had lost it and that was the only thing they both had left of Charlie Swan so Renee was furious at her for losing it. Sad I had to give it back though I would lose my job if I got caught. And_ dear _Edward would not be helped. And I wouldn't get what I want....._

I tried not to visibly shudder. Why do people these days value looks and visual appeal so much?

I returned quickly to what we were talking about and I couldn't contain my glare at her this time.

"I'll take this back to her.", I said stiffly, outraged at her behavior.

Lauren nodded, still pretending, oblivious to the fact I had heard every lying thought that had just gone through that perverted- that was ruse but I couldn't help myself or my disgust- brain of hers. "Please."

"But I don't see how this is relevant to helping Bella."

"I got tired of the medal and if the Peacekeepers search my room or me, they'll find it and I'll  be in trouble. And they do that all the time. I've had enough trouble trying to hide this stupid, useless medal."

So returning it wasn't out of the goodness of her heart, but because it was causing her inconveniences.

"That would be part of your favor to me."

 _Part._ I shuddered to think of what else she wants from me but this task, at least, was easy. I slipped the small golden charm into my pocket.

"Thank you.", I said out of courtesy because what she said meant that she would help me. Hopefully. "So.... How are we going to get Bella out alive as well?"

She glared at me. "I was getting to that part."

I held back a glare of my own. Doesn't she know manners? Because what she said was very rude indeed.

She told me the plan. I didn't like a lot of the parts because I had to rely mainly on her and her friend, Jessica, and I don't trust her or want to rely on her. But there was no other way.

I nodded my head once. "Thank you."

She smiled cheerfully. "You're welcome!"

That ended our conversation and we acted like we always did. As if the deal was never made and we never talked.

I stated silent but my mind was reeling. Lauren's help didn't make me like her any more than I did before but Bella was going to come out alive! I was happy though suspicious to _why_ Lauren wanted to help us. But I didn't care. Bella was my everything now.

Using the excuse of using the bathroom, I left the room where the escort, Sashya, Cecelia and Woof were talking. I slid the lock into place from the outside and started on my way to accomplish my mission of returning the medal. I sneaked down, through the advanced, silent elevator, to the District 2 floor where Jane, Alec and Jacob almost immediately caught my scent. I could hear that from their thoughts.

Hopefully, they would follow their common senses and think that their was no way I'm here and would doubt themselves before going to investigate.

With vampire speed, I sped to her room, where her scent, sending fire racing down my throat, an uncomfortable heat, was the strongest. I slid into her room, as quietly as possible, wincing when it creaked, and took the medal from my pocket and held on to only the string. I let the medal's chain slip through my fingers and onto her pillow. She was bound to find it when she slept tonight.

I rushed back to my story and room before being ushered to the Interviews backroom.

I wasn't nervous. I didn't _need_ to sway the audience, the Capitol. I had enough weapons in my body alone to murder all the other tributes. I winced at the thought. I didn't want anyone to kill Bella. I didn't want to have even a tiny bit of chance that she could die or get hurt. I didn't want to like her in the first place. _But it is done.,_ I told myself.

That girl and boy from District 1 had their thoughts mainly focused on killing strategies and winning the Games, ways to kill Caesar Flickerman for making them talk about things and annoying them to no end- I shake my head in disgust at their thoughts.

I waited and waited and finally, _finally,_ Bella stepped onto the stage. She was red and blushing, stumbling a little as she walked to the chair. A chuckle slipped through my teeth at her nervous expression.

I _was_ right. I still haven't entirely lost my ability to read people. A involuntary smile stretched across my face at this small yet important- to me- victory.

"Isabella Swan!", Caesar Flickerman greeted, smiling widely.

"Um...Hi", she whispered. I doubt the audience even heard that.

"I saw you volunteered for Renesmee!", he announced. He didn't sound very surprised. "Who was she to you?"

Bella seemed to contemplate that for a second. "A neighbor and a sister of my friend."

"I thought that was very noble, even though you didn't know her well! Any regrets?"

"No." Her voice came out flat and fierce, and hard and cold.

"You had the chance to volunteer earlier. Now, you're eighteen and you chose to go in now when you could've stayed out for the rest of your life and live it without recurring nightmares and stress. I don't understand."

She flinched at his words, her face suddenly wild with panic. Looking around and not spotting Jacob, she turned to Mike in the audience.

Mike nodded.

 _One pretty girl she is.,_ he thought dreamily. I rolled my eyes at that. She is _way_ more than pretty.

 _Sad she's going into the Games._ I couldn't have agreed more.

"M-my mom, she's- she's abusive.", she managed to choke out, stuttering.

"Oh. That's horrible. How long has she been that way?", Caesar asked in a sympathetic tone.

"Two years. Since my dad, Char-", she choked off. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "Since Charlie died."

The crowd gave a sympathetic sigh in unison.

"Why didn't you leave her or fight back?"

Bella lifted her head. "Because she had a reason. A good reason."

_Selfless._

Caesar frowned. "Which is...?"

I perked my ears. It probably had everything to do with Lauren stealing the medal but I needed confirmation. I didn't trust Lauren. There was no telling if she was lying or not.

"That's for me to know and you to guess.", Bella answered quietly.

That was especially rude for her to say. She would never say that.

The buzzer rang and she stood up, giving everybody a curtsy, still managing to look mature and beautiful even though how she does that while curtsying, I have no idea. She quickly joined the others before her, sighing in relief, and I returned to my tuning out.

I glanced at Jacob and it was all I could do to hold in the growl that threatened to slip through my clenched teeth. He was staring at her with drooling, possessive expression and his thoughts were so _disrespectful!_

 _It's embarrassing to be be undressed, piece by piece, in anybody's mind, for the love of all that's holy_!, I thought to Jacob, knowing he couldn't hear me but couldn't entirely hold them back. _I'm sure Bella would feel the same way._

At least Bella doesn't feel the same way he does. I could see that from listening to his thoughts,that were disappointed and with a twinge of bitterness. I can't tell you how much that made me happier, lighter, no longer having to compete with someone else. I was so glad that I actually convinced myself that spending time with her wouldn't be so bad. _But.....you still put her in danger every minutes you spend with her._ , I told myself.

After Bella, Jacob stepped up onto the stage. I had to admit, he was sarcastic. Funny. Lively. But he's a werewolf. That meant that he was also immature. Volatile. Dangerous when they lose their temper. And I don't want Bella hanging out with him.

But who am I to dictate who she spends time with? To do so would be cruel and unforgivable.

The tributes in front of me disappeared one by one, all the same as the ones before except Bella of course. She, to me, was the only one who stood out among the rest of her competitors.

Sashya walked on stage, fingering and fidgeting with her dress and looking very nervous. I doubt it would help me, though I wasn't nervous, I didn't want to become nervous, to listen to her thoughts right now.

Soon, she was done talking and I walked on stage, wincing at the bright lights. They didn't hurt my eyes; they might glint off my skin the wrong way and cause suspicion. But why does it matter to them anyway? In their eyes, I'm just another toy, another pawn of their cruel Games, another person that could die in the arena. And if I was to die, there was no point, for them, to puzzle over something as simple and silly as the way light glints off my skin.

Fury thrashed violently under my perfectly composed mask at my depressed thoughts.

"Edward Cullen! What impressed you the most since you came?", Caesar Flickerman asked me when I sat down in the chair.

I contemplated for a moment. There really wasn't much except the technology was a pleasant surprise. Bella was a more-than-pleasant surprise but there are some things I wanted to keep to myself instead of saying on National TV. So I told him the more non-personal one, trying to sound modern and not like a boy who grew up in the 1900's. "The technology and the convenience of everything."

It was obviously not what he expected me to say. Maybe he expected me to say the food since I did come from District 8 and the people there were slightly poor. But I don't eat food and, because of my father's status as a doctor, not poor.

"Yes, yes. Technology and convenience is very evident and useful indeed.", he answered after a slight pause only vampire ears can pick up. "How did you feel during the Reaping when you were chosen?"

Again, my answer was unexpected to him. "I don't know. Scared, I guess, but I knew that I had a chance. The matter was how big." I shrugged. "Then, I realized it didn't matter."

He looked surprise. Genuinely surprised. Well, he should. No one has probably ever said, _It doesn't matter if I win or lose. Die or live.,_ in the Games. _Stuck-up, arrogant, show-off leech._

Then, Caesar asked me, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

I stiffened visibly, not comfortable with the subject, and shook my head. I hated lying and I knew he was trying to help me, and possibly the girl I like, out right now. But I couldn't help myself.

"Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what's her name?", he urged.

I could see the women and girls in the audience snap to attention at this question. I laughed at how silly they were inside. It was rude but I couldn't help myself.

I forced myself back to the current conversation and train of thoughts. I couldn't afford to go off track right now.

I didn't want to tell him. I was still a teenager in a way. I didn't want anyone to know my crush, much less the entire country. But I knew I had to say it, at least to help Bella. _Bella was a stumbling mess of a Career. If you don't help her or make her attractive, she might not get as many sponsors._ I mentally scolded myself for the rudeness of my thoughts and became highly offended by myself for my silent comment.

 _Bella doesn't need your help. She does just fine on her own.,_ I thought reproachfully.

_No, she doesn't, normally. But when she's stuttering and saying incoherent things, shouldn't you help her a bit?_

I didn't have a argument against that logic.

I _have_ seen this conversation take place before. Between Peeta Mellark and Caesar Flickerman during _his_ interview though it wouldn't help me right now because Peeta _had_ told everyone who he likes. And I didn't want to. _But you have to._

I clenched my teeth against the sigh that threatened to escape my throat and said, "There is this one girl whom I didn't know very well but I really like."

I could hear almost Esme squealing in my ears, Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper's smiles and Alice's panicked expression that she tried desperately to conceal from everyone else. And I could almost feel Rosalie's jealousy. When we had met, she was upset that I didn't take an instant liking to her or her looks like every other man did and she soon got over it because she thought as long as _she_ wasn't lovable by me, nobody is. Now that I've found a woman, she was envious of her. I chuckled to myself inside. _And Rose doesn't even know who she is._

I could imagine furious and resigned Ali right now. She had warned me and I hadn't listened to her.

 _Oh, dear sister,_ I thought, voice mockingly sweet. _Love isn't something you can easily control. You should at least have known that through your relationship with Jasper._

I could just see her glaring at me and saying hotly, "But that's different! Jasper is a _vampire_ and your girl is a _human."_

 _Well,_ beloved _sister, not everybody has to be a vampire to be loved by a vampire.,_ I countered in my head.

 _But everybody_ does _have to be as strong and unbreakable like a vampire to be able to be lover by a vampire.,_ I added to myself mournfully after a pause. I winced to myself. That would be impossible. I would never change her, nor allow somebody else to change her and Jacob Black would never allow it. Unless she suddenly finds out she has werewolf heritage and probably resulting in a sudden hatred towards me- the thought was a wicked knife, especially when it's true- or happens to be some kind of supernatural, unbreakable creature, a relationship between Bella and I would be impossible.

Caesar jerked me out of my invisible conversation with Alice and miserable thoughts. "How long did you know her?", Caesar asked, curious now.

"Actually, I just met her a few days ago-", I answered, casting my gaze downwards at my perfect black shoes in embarrassment. "-and I don't think either of us- at least I wouldn't but she _is_ pretty smart"- I could imagine Rosalie rolling her eyes of my own downgrading- "would be able to get both of us out alive this time."

A groan escaped the majority of the audience.

Some of the thoughts that swirled in my head, Caesar included, was thinking some of these thoughts mournfully,

_An even more tragic love story than Katniss' and Peeta's._

_I can't believe it! I don't want to have a half-broken couple._

_I agree,_ I thought resignedly.

_The boy, he's handsome.  I hope it's some girl I can get out of the way easily. Oh....What I would get if I got him._

I halted a shudder.

_I wonder who he has his eyes on?_

_Isabella "Bella" Swan_ , I wanted to answer to whoever it was.

"What's her name?", Caesar inquired.

I didn't have to answer to just that one person. The entire nation was going to know. I closed my eyes and, if I was human, I would have been blushing a deep red, forced the words out, choking, "Isabella Swan."

An audible gasp of shock sounded from behind me and my eyelids flew open. I didn't need to look to see where that came from. I would recognize that sound of warmth and humanity and beauty and kindness anywhere. A deep, hidden, unknown feeling suddenly filled my chest, like a beautiful flower, a light, pushing back all the misery I had caused myself by puzzling over Bella and I. If she gasped that way, does she like me too? Then, that small candle light was snuffed out by the dark wind of actuality, the flower crushed under the cruel foot of reality. _It would be terrible for her if she fell for you. You have already fell for her and you can't change that but if she falls for you, you couldn't want to hurt her by leaving her, you wouldn't change her because Jacob Black wouldn't want you to, and you would hurt her by trying to be in a human-vampire relationship._

The side that longs to be with Bella had no valid arguments. Why would it? Every word the other part had said was based on fact and observation, the information concrete and impossible to argue against, especially when your arguing for something objective.

 _Jacob Black's not sure about Bella?,_ I noticed suddenly from the werewolf's thoughts. _I never really considered them a_ thing- I grimaced to hear myself using one of Emmett's slangs- _but I knew they were close. I wonder what Bella thinks?,_ I mused to myself.

 _Don't waste your time, Edward. You wouldn't hear anything._ I chose to ignore the voice and listened anyway. For something. Anything.

But....Nothing. I restrained a frustrated groan at my failure of reading Bella's mind.

A snarling growl emitted from the werewolf a short while after the gasp had left Bella's lips; he was was _very_ jealous- because he didn't like it that a _handsome, bloodsucking leech_ had his eyes on her- and scared- scared because he wasn't sure who Bella would pick if she was forced to choose and _the odds weren't in his favor_. A chuckle at the similarities between Jacob Black and Rosalie and the little line of the Hunger Games was going to slip through my teeth before it died in the back of my throat because _I_ didn't like who she would most probably choose- data provided by Jacob Black's fuming rant inside his head- either. I was not good for her. Choosing the werewolf would've been better for her. And, now that I thought of it, I knew that the werewolf was more suited to be with her than any other- he wouldn't harm her because he doesn't have the blood lust and he was more capable to protect her than the humans that watch us from the crowds because she's always so clumsy, brave and stubborn to the point of stupidity- for example, liking me and choosing me-, and attracting trouble.

The audience let out a moan of pain for both of us. Anger rose in a tide inside me and I struggled to contain the growl that threatened to rumble in my chest. How could they despair over a tragic love story when they are yearning to watch _the Hunger Games_ , where they force innocents to kill other innocents?

The buzzer rang and I forced a sad smile at everybody and joined my fellow tributes.

Tribute after tribute went after me and the crowd gave their approval and moaned and sighed in the correct moments. The entire time, I felt like I was blushing. The anthem played and everything went black but I could see just as well.

 _Finally it's over.,_ I rejoiced in my head.

 _You sound like a elementary student.,_ griped the part of me who was still a gentleman, the part left from growing up in the 1900's.

 _I don't care.,_ I yelled back in my head, too relieved this pointless thing was over and I could hide from Bella's prying and curious eyes once again. 

The lights came back up and people got up to leave. I walked to the room, watching, keeping my eyes on Bella from Jacob's mind as they, chatting, walked to their story. Jealousy is a strong emotion. I had seen it portrayed by actors in plays, described in vivid details in books but never in my entire existence did I ever think I would feel it to such a strong degree as I watched their retreating backs. I could literally feel the jealousy turn my heart green.

Jacob could touch her, be with her, so easily without ever putting her in danger. I could even feel the jealousy towards Carlisle, at his perfect immunization against human blood that I don't have.

I trudged back to my room.

_Well. If I can't be with her, then I'll love her from afar._

It feels like I'm being injured- in a way, I am- to do that.

I watched her through Jacob's eyes as he comforted her while she was weeping over the medal, until she jumped up, asking him, "Do you know who left it here?"

A cold feeling settled into my stomach; a warning something I didn't like was going to happen. I tensed. In a way, I was like Arial, the mermaid, who could only sit and watch in the sidelines as the person she saved, or helped, fell in love and thanked the wrong, and lying, person for something they didn't do for her, deeply in love but couldn't do anything about it.

Of course, he had said yes, smiling.

My situation reminded me of a person Emmett was fond of back in the old days. He's name was Jace Herondale and he had once said, "And I'm supposed to sit by while you date boys and fall in love with someone else while I die a little bit more everyday, watching?"

I had never given it much thought but I couldn't have agreed more. 

I watched, choked and in pain, feeling like somebody was stabbing my heart again and again, while she hugged him.

Then... he kissed her. I was in my room, watching, unable to speak, when it happened. I couldn't believe my eyes. I thought he knew she didn't have that kind of feeling for him!

Why didn't she push him away?

I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to do _something_ to decrease the pain _._

She withdrew after a few seconds, smiling shyly, and ushered him out of the room. I could hear his hurt in his thoughts and I breathed a deep breath of relief and gripped the counter, hearing but not paying attention to the sound of wood snapping under my hands.

 _Maybe she_ didn't _have the same kind of feeling for him. Maybe she stayed in place to be kind. She's selfless enough to do so._

I snuck into her room again at night, and watched while she slept, unable to help myself even though what happened this afternoon.

What made me happy was that she screamed my name.

 _You aren't good for her._ I tortured myself with that thought the entire time as I watched her.

I couldn't bare it anymore so I went outside, onto the roof, to clear my head of her intoxicating scent that doesn't bother me as much as it did anymore.

I stayed there for I-don't-know how long, just enjoying the peace for the last time before it would all turn to chaos.

I heard _her_ walk up behind me.

"Hi.", someone greeted me. I could recognize that voice anywhere.

I turned my head as small a distance as I can without seeming outright rude and gave a nod in return. I wanted to say turned back around and stared at something in the distance, at the lights of the Districts. I should've felt longing for home but... _Where Bella is, that's your home._ If I could cry, I would have created a river, a waterfall and have drowned the world in my sorrow. I wanted _so_ much to talk to her, ask her about the kiss and how she liked it, to either permanently confirm or deny what I heard, but I couldn't. I couldn't force my thick throat to utter a single word and she'll ask about my gift and I'll have to explain everything. Then, she'll get angry and never talk to me again. _Well, isn't that what you want? To not have a reason to hurt her anymore?_

I was too selfish. _Yes,_ I admitted. _But I don't want her to hate me._

_Ha! She probably already does._

_Ow._

I continued staring at this Districts.

"Edward," she suddenly said.

"What?", I snapped, turning to look at her, as was polite. I couldn't bear to look at her or sound nice. Not after what I saw.

"Are you okay?", was all she asked me.

"Yes." That was a terrible, terrible lie but I couldn't giver her more than that or she'll suspect. I turned back around.

Silence filled the air again, and it drowned me in its misery.

"Did you see it?", she asked, abruptly.

I knew exactly what she was talking about but I pretended to be confused; it wasn't hard. I was a _very_ good actor. "See what?"

"Oh. Never mind." she replied.

I wanted to comfort her instead of saying what I wanted said. But I knew I had to lie so not to betray myself and what I saw. Struggling, I made my next words sharp and cold, cutting. "It's rude, you know, to get somebody's attention and then just say 'nothing'. If you have nothing to say, then keep your mouth shut." I winced at my own words.

She left and I flinched at the stinging silence that was left without her steady drumming heartbeat.

I took my departure as soon as I was sure she was gone and wouldn't be able to see me.

I snuck back into her room to watch her once more after she was soundly asleep.

As morning light shone through the windows and illuminated the room, I sighed. The Games were going to began, in the morning, at 10:00 a.m. sharp. I looked at Bella's sleeping form and felt a twist of sorrow and misery under my perfected but entirely and utterly facade of happiness. We had so little time left.

When they threatened to stick the needle with the tracker in me, I panicked. They would surely find out what I am! But Lauren got in front of me and talked the person out of it and I relaxed. I didn't trust Lauren and I couldn't find the root cause of why she wanted to help me besides the obvious but, after that, I found that I was able to trust her a little more.

The hovercraft, much like the airplanes from my time, was very fast and got us to the arena in about 30 minutes.  

I was going to think too much so, instead, I focused on Lauren's daydreams and trying not to retch in the process. It worked and I didn't think about Bella or the Games or anything for those minutes.

I dressed when I got there. 

Lauren smeared something on my face and I had to stiffen to not slap her hand away. 

I stepped into the tube. What I felt, though, was a yearning to be up there, inside of dread. I wanted to see Bella again because none of us could escape. I yearned to be up there even though this time we meet, she would probably try to kill me immediately. I winced. Ouch. 

The tube raised me up into the world above. The sunlight glinted in my eyes and I yelped in surprise. 

 _No!_ I looked down, afraid that my skin was going to start sparkling then and there but my tensed pose abruptly loosened. The clothing was designed well and zero sunlight made it through. But what of my face? It didn't glow. How? I have no idea. In that second, I was so glad for Lauren's help.

The countdown, the canon, the talking, everything, they slipped through my brain without ever stopping and I didn't catch on to a thing. 

** Jacob's POV **

Today was the Interviews.

It really wasn't that much of a problem for me. I mean, I can take care of myself in the arena. Right?

 _No, not if you have to take care of two.,_ muttered a voice inside my head.

 _Bella can take care of herself; she might just need a bit of help.,_ I retorted.

 _You_ know _that it isn't the case in the arena._

I could just imagine the other part of me rolling my eyes. _Okay fine. You win._

I sighed as I went to get ready for the Interviews.

Jessica waltzed in, grinning like a maniac, looking way more excited than she should. "Guess what, Jacob?"

"What?", I answered, not bothering to hide my annoyance at her bubbly behavior.

"Two- or three- can come out of the arena!" She responded, squealing.

I rolled my eyes. "All of us are going to come out of the arena, just in a different state, physically or emotionally."

She gave a short laugh. "I meant, _ALIVE!"_

My eyes flew off my forehead- not literally, of course- but I was shocked and slightly amused. Bella or I wasn't going to die! Please let this not be a trick. I really hope it would work. I turned around and stared at her. "Is that true?"

"Of course!", she replied, throwing her hands up in the air, knocking down so bottles of stuff in the process, I may add, like an excited child.

"If you would trust me, I can get you guys out alive." She quickly told me the plan and I nodded, didn't need to think twice about agreeing.

"Edward Cullen's coming along though.", she warned suddenly.

"What?!", I yelled. I immediately started to backtrack. There was no way in the world am I doing something, anything, with a leech. "No...Just...Can I not do this anymore?""

Jessica glanced at me reproachfully. "It's either that or nothing."

I want nothing to do with the bloodsucker. _Bella's more important than rivalry!_

Sometimes I really really hate logic. "Fine."

"Yay!" She rejoiced, clapping her hands like a child.

I rolled my eyes at her behavior.

I was soon in the back room of the Interviews, waiting for me turn. Bella went first.

"Isabella Swan!", Caesar Flickerman greeted her, smiling cheekily.

"Um...Hi", she whispered.

"I saw you volunteered for Renesmee!", Caesar announced, which surprised no one. "Who was she to you?"

Bella seemed to think about that for a second. Who _was_ Renesmee to her? She never told me. I watched her face carefully. Not a muscle budged in her stiffly smiling face. "A neighbor and a sister of my friend."

"I thought that was very noble, even though you didn't know her well! Any regrets?" I rolled my eyes. The truth doesn't exactly noble though I do think that volunteering was brave for her.

"No."

I stared at her. That was impossible. Everybody had them when they entered the Games. Even the Careers. I knew that well enough from my super-expression-reader-powered father.

"You had the chance to volunteer earlier. Now, you're eighteen and you chose to go in now when you could've stayed out for the rest of your life and live it without recurring nightmares and stress. I don't understand."

She flinched at his words, her face suddenly wild with panic. Looking around and searching for somebody she couldn't find- who is?-, she turned to Mike in the audience.

Mike nodded.

"M-my mom, she's- she's abusive.", she managed to choke out, stuttering.

What?! She would tell the _entire nation_ and wouldn't tell me? Betrayal stung deep and painful and I bit my tongue to keep from making a sound, either surprised or betrayed.

"Oh. That's horrible."

 _You have no idea how horrible it is,_ I thought scathingly, betrayal forgotten, not being able to believe that all these vain bubbly cold _things_ can only say, _that's horrible_. Images filled my head and I winced.  _No idea what the parents could do to their children in District 2 if they wanted to._

"How long has she been that way?", Caesar asked in a sympathetic tone.

"Two years. Since my dad, Char-", she choked off. I didn't realize if her Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "Since Charlie died."

The crowd gave a sympathetic sigh in unison. I had to bite my tongue again and it started bleeding. Who cares? Except the bloodsucker and he wouldn't want your blood.

"Why didn't you leave her or fight back?"

That was a very good question. _I don't know either._

Bella lifted her head, looking more confident and haughty. "Because she had a reason. A good reason."

Caesar frowned, thinking the same thing as I. "Which is...?"

I perked my ears.

"That's for me to know and you to guess.", Bella answered quietly.

My eyes widened. She would _never_ say that.

The buzzer rang and she stood up, giving everybody a curtsy. She quickly joined the others before her, sighing in relief, and I returned to my tuning out.

I began to undress her in my mind, trying to imagine what she looks like underneath...

I had to go next so I stepped up onto the stage.

I just said things off the top of my head, knowing Jessica would get me out of there alive with Bella and the bloodsucker out anyway. Who cares what crap I say anyway?

It was the leech's turn. I payed attention to see him fail. Hopefully.

"Edward Cullen! What impressed you the most since you came?", Caesar Flickerman asked him when he sat down in the chair. 

"The technology and the convenience of everything."

I didn't expected him to say that and I could feel my eyebrows raising on my forehead. He was a lowly District 8. I thought all he wanted in life was a full stomach with his family also having full stomachs.

"Yes, yes. Technology and convenience is very evident and useful indeed.", Caesar answered after a slight pause I could barely pick up. "How did you feel during the Reaping when you were chosen?"

Again, his answer was unexpected. "I don't know. Scared, I guess, but I knew that I had a chance. The matter was how big." I shrugged. "Then, I realized it didn't matter."

 _What the...?_ Caesar looked surprise. Genuinely surprised. We probably had similar expressions. No one has probably ever said something so arrogant before. I hissed. _Stuck-up, arrogant, show-off leech._

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

He stiffened visibly, not comfortable with the subject, and shook his head.

I stifled a laugh. He sounds like a player. Ooh. This would be interesting to watch.

"Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what's her name?", he urged.

I rolled my eyes. Can this be over already?

I felt like laughing. I have seen this conversation take place before. Between Peeta Mellark and Caesar Flickerman during _his_ interview. They were entertaining though why would Caesar repeat the same questions?

"There is this one girl whom I didn't know very well but I really like."

Ho ho ho. The bloodsucker's cheating on somebody. I could just imagine the sad stone face of another one in District 8.

"How long did you know her?", Caesar asked.

 _A single night._ I wanted to scream at the crowd, to tell them he's lying.

"Actually, I just met her a few days ago-", he replied, looking at his royal black shoes, as if they could save him. Right. "-and I don't think either of us- at least I wouldn't but she _is_ pretty smart would be able to get both of us out alive this time."

A groan escaped the majority of the audience.

How I hate the drama the Capitol makes for themselves.

"What's her name?", Caesar inquired.

I smirked. Let's hear his embarrassing confession.

"Isabella Swan."

An audible gasp of shock sounded from besides me and I turn to see Bella staring at him, dumbstruck.

 _What? Please no. No, no, no no! I already noticed...If he said that, would she...?_ I didn't want to continue that thought.

A snarling growl slipped through my mouth, uncontrollable, as I recovered from my shock. Jealousy thrashed fiercely inside, behind my cold, expressionless eyes and uncaring set of shoulders. I didn't like it that a _handsome, bloodsucking leech_ had his eyes on her.

Fear mingled with the jealousy ran through my like an electric current. Who would Bella would choose if it came down to it? I didn't like the more likely answer.

 _Why aren't the odds ever in my favor?,_ I complained.

I was forced back to my previous chain of thoughts. Who would she choose? Only one name ran through my head as I looked at Bella and the past few days: _Edward, Edward, Edward._ If it was possible, steam might've been coming out of my ears and fire burning in my eyes. After all I've told her about how dangerous they are, everything, she would choose the leech? A back-stabbing, lying leech? I couldn't contain my fury at Bella or Edward, even though it probably wasn't her fault-  I couldn't bring myself to care- but it was _totally_ his fault.

The audience let out a moan of pain for both of us. Anger rose in a tide inside me and I struggled to control it. _Dramatic idiots._

The buzzer rang and he gave a sad smile to the tributes. The end of the Interviews gave me something normal to hold onto, so my mind won't go full-on rage. I rolled my eyes as I slowly calmed down, knowing there was nothing to do. _So much pretending._

When Bella realized that she found her father's medal under her pillow, she started crying. As expected.

I sat with her the entire time but couldn't help but think. Does she actually enjoy my presence or does she yearn for Edward's more? I didn't want to think about it.

When she asked me if I knew who left it there, I wanted to confirm my suspicions. "Yes." I answered.

Surprisingly, she swallowed the lie and thanked me.

I needed to know. _Now._

I kissed her. The feeling of her warm lips against mine was even better than I ever imagined. I wished she would move but she just stood there, stony, cold, unfeeling, emotionless. 

 _Ouch,_ was the only thought I could think of.

It confirmed my every suspicion of the Bella and Edward thing. I wanted to kill the bloodsucker but, now that I know what I do, it would break her and I wouldn't want that.

I was ushered out the door, not that I wanted to stay, not after what happened.

I slept that night, with a black hole in my chest that swallow the thoughts of even the Games tomorrow. Full of sorrow and dragging me apart slowly by heartbreak, it was a painful night.

The next morning, I ate and I dressed, trying hard not to think about yesterday. Bella hadn't met my eyes the entire morning though I wasn't sure if it was just me or was she too nervous to talk to anyone. I was supposed to be given a tracker so they could track my every move in the arena, therefore preventing my escape and Jessica managed to convince the woman not to.

I stepped into the tube. Normally, I would've been a wilting flower, sad, sorrowful, fearful. But with what Jessica could give us, it all disappeared and left me relaxed. Well...as relaxed as I could be after the horribly concealed, un-subtle rejection yesterday. 

All the while, I was listening, thinking, pondering.

_Why would Jessica help me?_

_Would the plan work?_

_What will happen in the arena?_

_What will become of me and Bella?_

_What about the leech?_

_What will happen in the arena?_

_How will the Volturi deal with Bella, after she found out what she did?_ I didn't want to think about that.

 _What will happen in the arena? Why would Jessica help me? Would the plan work?_ These thoughts occurred more than I'd liked, especially when I couldn't find direct answers.

I groaned. The more I tried to think, the more questions were raised until my head was spinning with them. The questions clogged my thinking, made it sluggish. I sighed and leaned back. _I hate this._

When I arrived, I dressed and got in the tube. As I was sent up, I couldn't stop thinking about everything. 

I couldn't stop watching Bella either, measuring her reactions, everything.

The canon rang and we were free to do what we had to do. _Kill._

** Bella's ** ** POV **

There really wasn't much to do except prepare for the Interviews by dressing up. I couldn't help myself as I bit on my lower lip more times then I could count, with enough pressure to draw blood but stopping before it did. _You don't want to show up on national television with a bleeding lip._ , I mentally scolded myself every time I caught myself biting my lip.

Mike dressed me up in some super girly silk green dress and put some makeup on. I had to say, despite the fact that Newton kept on staring at me, the dress fit me, hugging my body in the right places and making me look graceful and lithe and beautiful.

Jane and Alec didn't give me a second look- which I expected- though I really would've liked to have some advice.

So I waited and waited, biting my lip.

James and Victoria was looking as handsome or beautiful as ever, making the audience coo and swoon over their deceitful looks and pretty, little, silver lies, and I felt a sudden anger twist my features into a glare and a writhing hatred in my heart that burns and thrashed, begging to be known to the world. They were killers, trained and ready. They didn't need to sway the crowd, didn't need this show, didn't need to take the only advantage the other tributes have away from them. But I couldn't do anything about it except watch helplessly from the sidelines. It made me _so_ restless and the scenes and falsities so unbearable that I felt faintly nauseated; I hated seeing something I disliked but couldn't do anything to stop it.

I didn't know where my sudden hostility, and enmity for the other two of who am I- a Career- came from. In truth, I was being a hypocrite. If I loathed them for what they do, aren't I loathing myself too?

Charlie's voice whispered in my ears again, _You'll save many more lives than you will take, Bella. You are kind-hearted._

I didn't think I would do what they could and would do without a second thought but I was still raised the same way as they were...to be a executioner.

Quickly- exactly 3 minutes- after James had strolled over to the stands behind the two Interview chairs, I was called, jerking me out of my thoughts.

Mike clapped me on the back and told me to go. My mouth went dry and I could feel my cheeks already heating up. I couldn't see clearly as I settled down on the chair.

"Isabella Swan!", Caesar Flickerman greeted me, smiling widely.

"Um...Hi", I whispered, trying to make my voice louder. My throat was choked with cotton balls, my mouth as dry as a desert. Sweat beaded over my body as I glanced at the audience, waiting for me to finish so they could judge.

"I saw you volunteered for Renesmee!", he announced. He didn't sound very surprised, because it was normal for a Career to volunteer. He always tries to make it sound noble though it was selfish to the core. "Who was she to you?"

 _Who_ is _she to me?_ I decided to tell the truth that everybody knows, back home. Hoping I don't sound like a strangled animal, I muttered, "A neighbor and a sister of my friend."

"I thought that was very noble, even though you didn't know her well! Any regrets?"

"No." My voice was a little bit louder than before. I _did_ have them, a _lot_ of them. I just didn't want him to know. And there wasn't just regret. Needling me at the back of my mind, I heard, _Not all regrets. You wouldn't have met Edward if you didn't volunteer. And you also got away from your mother, didn't you?_

"You had the chance to volunteer earlier in your life. Now, you're eighteen and you chose to go in now when you could've stayed out for the rest of your life and live it without reoccurring nightmares and stress. I don't understand."

I flinched at his words. Yes, I could've stayed and face my mom. I just chose not to. What was I going to say? I didn't want to tell them about Mom, make them think I'm weak! But he needed an answer and I couldn't lie because I'm a horrible liar; it sent me into full-blown panic. I looked around me, trying to find somebody, anybody, who would help me with this. I couldn't spot Jacob, who still hid behind the curtains of the backroom, so I turned to Mike in the audience.

Mike gave me a minute nod, as if to say, _Tell them the truth_.

I stared at him but I was out of options. Taking a deep breath, I imagined drawing the words out of me. _It won't hurt, Bella._ "M-my mom, she's- she's abusive.", I managed to draw out, stuttering _horribly_.

"Oh. That's horrible. How long has she been that way?", Caesar asked in a sympathetic tone.

"Two years. Since my dad, Char-", I choked off. I couldn't continue. Somebody has put a strangle hold on my neck. I couldn't. Thinking of Charlie brought back all these memories. What would Charlie say? _No crying in front of everybody. Chin up. Smile. Say it. Clearly._ Taking a deep breath, I tried again. This time, I could utter the entire sentence, around the cotton balls in my throat. "Since Charlie died."

The crowd gave a sympathetic sigh in unison and I felt some tension release in my chest. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

"Why didn't you leave her or fight back?"

True. Why didn't I? I lifted my head, like the way Charlie would've told me to do. "Because she had a reason. A good reason."

Caesar frowned. "Which is...?"

"That's for me to know and you to guess.", I answered quietly. I know it was rude and wouldn't help me a lot but I couldn't tell them; I was too ashamed to ever even say it to myself, much less an entire nation and the Capitol.

The buzzer rang and I stood up, fervent with relief, giving everybody a curtsy because I just...wanted to. I quickly joined the others, stumbling a little, before me, glad to be out of attention.

Now that I was out of most of the attention, I could listen clearly again. 

None of the tributes' conversations were the least bit interesting so I tuned out, staying alert for any sign of Edward. I waited and waited, fidgeting, gaze snapping up every time someone knew walked up onto the stage, fervently hoping it was Edward. I couldn't help it! Nor could I help me disappointment when I realized the new person wasn't Edward until finally, Edward stepped on stage, looking handsome as always in his tuxedo.

I had to fight to keep my resolution in place- to never have anything to do with Edward Cullen again- and it was proving harder than I expected.

"Edward Cullen! What impressed you the most since you came?", Caesar asked warmly, as if he was a friend.

Edward didn't seem to need to think about it or it was too fast for me to catch. "The technology and the convenience of everything."

"Yes, yes. Technology and convenience is very evident and useful indeed.", he answered.

"How did you feel during the Reaping when you were chosen?"

"I don't know. Scared, I guess, but I knew that I had a chance. The matter was how big." He shrugged nonchalantly. "Then, I realized it didn't matter."

I stared at him like he was crazy. _Was_ he crazy? Even if he didn't need the help of the audience, he would blow his family's cover!

"Do you have a girlfriend?", Caesar asked Edward.

He stiffened, seemingly not comfortable with the subject, and shook his head.

I couldn't believe it! He, handsome, hot- that was the first time I admitted it to myself- and gentle Edward Cullen _doesn't_ have a girlfriend?! It confused me, it sent my mind scrambling for answers and coming up with none.

"Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what's her name?" Caesar seemed to have read my mind. He asked it in the exact same tone I would've used- disbelieve- in almost my exact words.

"There is this one girl whom I didn't know very well but I really like.", he admitted.

  I perked to attention, full of hope.  

 _Why can't you just tell the audience? Who was it?,_ I wondered impatiently.

 _Oh, I know!,_ I murmured in my head, sounding like on of those know-it-alls in class. _A blonde with statuesque figure and towering height. Or sporting girl with brown hair and a cap? At least, not anyone clumsy._ None of these expectations for a girlfriend of his that I came up with I could match. Jealousy turned my heart a dark, dark green. I couldn't help it!

Some part of me scoffed, _You actually thought he would_ like _you?_

_Yes. Yes, I do._

The other part laughed. _You might enjoy disappointment._

The hope quelled under that thought.

 _And have you even thought about what he_ is? _He's a_ vampire, _for god's sake.,_ the other part continued, sneering.

 _That what makes him interesting.,_ I replied, defensively.

_Yeah. Until he kills you._

My eyes widened. _He wouldn't._

_How do you know?_

_Because I feel perfectly safe with him._ I wasn't lying.

Until I was reminded of my decision. _You promised yourself you wouldn't fall in love, remember?_

Yes. I wish I didn't though, so I could continue to be in my confused bliss without guilt. But I couldn't.

"How long did you know her?", Caesar asked Edward.

"Actually, I just met her a few days ago-", he answered, looking at his shoes. "-and I don't think either of us- at least I wouldn't but she _is_ pretty smart would be able to get both of us out alive this time."

 _It might be me, after all!,_ I rejoiced. _But I don't think I'm_ that _smart.,_ I added mournfully.

 _AND you promised yourself you would save both of you some pain.,_ I warned myself.

 _Who cares?,_ I whined, sounding like a child.

"What's her name?", Caesar asked him.

I was just _so_ curious, despite the fact that I am still screaming at myself for doing this and probably breaking my promise, even though the knowledge was probably going to crush me.

"Isabella Swan."

I gasped. Heaven knows I tried, I really did, to keep my promise. I couldn't hold it back anymore. Not when he said that.

He went to his place without ever looking at me again. That hurt.

You can't just say you like someone but then ignore them, can you?

The boy from District 12 was called and interviewed. The national anthem played and the screen went dark.

We returned to our rooms but I could barely pay attention to anything. Time is running out. For me. And for Jacob and my friendship.

I felt eyes on me again though I didn't pay it any mind. _It's probably just you going paranoid._

Something metallic clinked under my pillow as I put my head down and I stuck my hand under it, encountering something cool, smooth, metallic and strangely familiar. I pulled it out. _Could it be?_

It _was_ what I thought it is. I stared at my father's medal in my hands and tears sprang up in my eyes. I had lost it two days after he died and I was heartbroken and truly hated myself. So did Renee. That was part of what led to my abuse anyway. I didn't fight back when she hit, whipped or yelled at me because she had a point; she was correct to a degree. The hole in my heart left by Charlie yawned open like a mouth and, like a black hole, swallowed all thoughts and good feelings, leaving only pain and grief behind.

Jacob sat with me while I cried though I wanted- surprisingly (not)- Edward's company more. I felt so guilty. I didn't even know him that well!

Suddenly, a thought struck me. Who had returned it?

"Jacob," I asked, voice croaky from crying. "Do you know who put this here?"

He hesitated before, answering, "I did!", grinning cheekily.

It wasn't like him to do that and I instantly knew he was lying. But I didn't want to burst his bubble so I agreed and thanked him.

To my immense shock, he suddenly kissed me.

I wanted, so much, to enjoy it but I only felt that it was wrong.

_Come on, Bella. He loves you and you love him, right?_

_Yes,_ I sighed. _But as a brother._

When he pulled away. I opened my mouth but nothing came out; I didn't know what to say. So I just remained silent. Subtlety, smiling shyly, blushing a deep red, I gently pushed him out the door.

I fell asleep restlessly that night, still crying over Charlie. I was astonished I _could_ sleep.

In my dreams, torture, evil, death, pain, grief thrived. I woke up time and time again, blankets twisted around my legs, sweaty, screaming. It wasn't until the third or fourth time I awoke that I realized I was screaming for Edward. _Jacob wouldn't like that much.,_ I mused to myself. I couldn't find it in me to care. I like him, he likes me. And that was all it took to make me calm down to sleep again. Eventually the air inside my room became unbearably stuffy and I headed outside.

I met Edward there and he looked away the moment I stepped on.

"Hi.", I addressed him.

He twisted his head a sliver of a fraction and gave a curt nod in return. In that one second, I could see the agony burning in his eyes as he looked at me. Why? Did he...did he see the kiss? It seems to be the only valid explanation but how he saw it, I have no idea.

He turned back around and stared at something in the distance. I wanted _so_ much to talk to him but I knew it wasn't the right time.

 _When will there be another time to talk to him without one of you trying to kill the other or on guard?,_ I thought, trying to encourage myself to talk to him.

 _None,_ I admitted. But I couldn't talk to him; he didn't seem to want to talk to me.

I stared at his back. He just said that he likes me. And now he's ignoring me. My previous theory seemed most valid to explain such a strange situation but how could he see us?

I wanted to ask him so bad. The words slipped out before I could stop them.

"Edward," I murmured, wanting to start off with light things.

"What?", he snapped, turning to look at me for the first time. The fire was still there.

"Are you okay?", was the only lame question I could come up with to ask him, attempting to ignite conversation.

"Yes." He turned back around.

Silence filled the air again.

"Did you see it?", I inquired, suddenly.

A confused expression covered his face. "See what?"

"Oh. Never mind." I replied, not wanting to lie to him but didn't want to tell him the truth either.

His next words came out sharp and cold. "It's rude, you know, to get somebody's attention and then just say 'nothing'. If you have nothing to say, then keep your mouth shut."

Every word was a cut, and the sentence left me bleeding. I knew better to try again; there wasn't another exchange after that.

After a few minutes of seemingly- to me- awkward silence, I quietly returned to my room, having gotten enough fresh air for my liking.

I couldn't sleep; I couldn't stop thinking about Edward and how he had acted. I wanted to confront him, ask him directly, can he actually read minds or see through floor boards or why was he eavesdropping on us but I couldn't find the courage in me, not even if I reach into the deepest recesses of my mind. If I was honest, I would've said I was afraid of the repeated rejection.

So I lay there in bed, thinking about everything, knowing I probably should get some sleep but couldn't, until the morning light shown through the windows.

The Hunger Games had cast its dark shadows over me. Its shadow may be a joyous and light color for my fellow tributes who enjoyed the activity taken inside- James, Victoria, etc.-, indifferent and neutral white for others- those of them for whom the Games doesn't really matter (Jacob, Edward, etc.) For me, though, and probably many other fellow tributes, its shadow was pitch black and dark, patterned and laced with fear of failure and death, weighed down by heavy dread, until it was like a burden on my shoulders, and dancing- like shadows made by a flickering candle- with a buzzing anxiety. This shadow put a knife of worry and nervousness through my concentration and a searing thought burning repeatedly through my brain- _Will I live or die?_ Only fate would know.

I was so nervous- nervous to the point of sickening nausea-, I could barely eat or look at anybody, butterflies fluttering in my stomach as it clenches. I couldn't think straight either and I almost just stumbled around.

Mike helped me dress in the uniform, hanging the metal around me neck, his hands lingering there, making me want to shiver with disgust.

"Run around, see if the shoes fit."

I nodded, nauseated, and did as I was told. They fit perfect, as far as I can tell.

The moment came for me to step into the tube.

I was tempted to bolt for it at the moment, to make an attempt to save the life- _my_ life- that I so willingly threw away during the Reaping. Still, after a careful survey had let me know that there was no where to run and would probably just die at the hands of the Peacekeepers and shame my family, I stepped into the tube, feeling as if my feet were weighed down by a million tons of lead, those two simple steps seemed to have sapped as much energy as running over two planets, and was sent up into the arena, heart pounding, a large amount of weight on my chest and around my throat. 

I rose into the arena and squinted my eyes against the sunlight.

My gaze swept my surroundings. We were in a large clearing with forestry on all sides. The Cornucopia was at the center and, under it, piled weapons and backpacks and sleeping bags and food. I knew I was going have to try to get those. And that meant killing and injuring. The thought made me more sick than I already was.

I could barely register the words as Claudius Templesmith's voice crackled overhead. "May the odds ever in your favor."

I forced down a bitter laugh. No, the odds has never been and will never be in my favor.

 _Hey. Think positive.,_ I encouraged myself.

I huffed. _I'm_ positive _that they will never be in my favor._

I rolled my eyes at it. _That joke's about as old as President Aro._ And he was pretty old.

My eyes wandered to Edward, who looked relaxed. I was _so_ jealous of what he is, his handsomeness and attractiveness, and his immortality at that moment.

But what Jacob told me made me wonder if I should be jealous.

"10..." My hand clenched around my father's medal around my neck. "9...." Even tighter. "8...." Tight enough for the edge to dig into my skin. "7...." Tight enough to draw blood.

"6...." My stomach clenched harder, making me want to throw up. "5...." More butterflies erupted. "4...." The butterflies multiplied. "3...." Anticipation twisted my stomach and it was so painful that it muddled my head. "2..." My muscles tensed, getting ready for that split second where my life would take a tragic turn. _Make a run for it!,_ screamed every muscle and every speck of logic in me but I held myself still, trembling like a sapling in a hurricane. "1!"

A cannon fired in the distance.

The Games have begun.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Hi, people!

I finally got this chapter done! Phew! *wipes invisible sweat off brows* I'm so, so, _so_ sorry for the long wait; the chapter turned out to be insanely long and I had tons of schoolwork, projects and tests. I hope the length compensates for the wait!

I know that Caesar said/asked similar things to Edward that he said to Peeta in the first book of the Hunger Games but I couldn't think of anything else to make him ask Edward and isn't Bella and Edward a little like Katniss and Peeta? And I needed a way to make Bella forget her resolution and I thought that was sufficient. I, even though writing is my passion, am not that creative when it comes to dialogue so I'm sorry.

Now that I think of it, wouldn't it be embarrassing to have to admit your crush to the nation and have rumor spreading wild, not in only your school, but in your entire country? Just a random thought.

That kiss at the end of the chapter was not planned but it seemed really needed; it just happened. 

I know the POV's are out of order; I usually put them Edward, Bella, and then Jacob but I really liked the cliffhanger at the end of Bella's POV so I switched it around a bit. I hope it is't confusing!

What do you think of the long chapters? Do you think I should break up the chapters so that there's one POV per chapter? It would be shorter. You may think I might update more frequently but I don't think I can; I sometimes go back and change things so I still have to make sure the events of all the POVs correspond before I publish the first one. So what do you think? From now on, shorter or longer chapters? Please let me know through the comments!

The next chapter would be _so_ much better because they have finally, finally, entered the arena. I'm sorry if I bored you to death this chapter! The next one will come faster than this one, hopefully, because it probably won't be as boring for me as before. I finally get to reveal a secret I've been planning all along to you wonderful readers!

And Jace Herondale comes from another great series, maybe not as good as Twilight but still very brilliant, called "The Mortal Instruments". It's famous so some of you may have read it but if you haven't, you should read it.

Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter, dramatic end, cliffhanger! You are truly wonderful and I appreciate every one of you readers, the ones who vote and comment _and_ the silent readers! 'See' you next next week with the next chapter! (I hope you aren't dying from the cliffhanger like I was when one of my favorite book's last chapter ended with a cliffhanger and hasn't been updated.)


	10. Chapter 8- Cornucopia Bloodbath

Author's Note: I just realized how terrible my summary is; I'm surprised you're here with such a sh**** summary. I just tweaked it. Anyway, on you go!

Bella's POV

I launched myself off the pedal and sprinted for the Cornucopia, running like I had never before and arrived at the Cornucopia, with no more than a slight panting.

Even though I was running fast as I could, Jacob, James, and Victoria were already there. I still am not as good as they are.

Heaving a resigned sigh, I made my way to the knives. Please, please, please, let no one into the place, I wished.

Heart as heavy as a boulder, I dragged myself to the knives of the Cornucopia. I turned the corner and realized the small 14-years-old girl from District 4 was already there. My heart sank. I was hoping I didn't have to fight so soon. You knew it would happen anyway.

Heaving another resigned sigh, I sneaked to her side in the cover of shadows, crouched like a leopard while hunting.

Ah. This one isn't careful, is she?, I mused to myself. Not as experienced as the others I've faced. That put a spark of confidence into my heart.

An idea slowly formed in my head. Maybe I don't even need to fight her.

You're a weakling, taunted something in my head.

Hey! I'm not meant to kill!, I protested.

You're supposed to be.

With a quick darting movement of the hand, I carried out the plan and stole one on the knives from the metal holstering them, slipping it silently into the waist of my suit. Unfortunately, that didn't go unnoticed. Not so non-experienced as I had first thought, I corrected myself grimly. She whirled around to face me, weapon at the ready. Snarling a few curse words at my own small moment of arrogance and carelessness, I pulled myself from my crouch to face her in my full height. She gave me an icy glare before it faltered with fear.

Ah. Fear. I can use this to my advantage.

Something in my head, something I still had after years of trying to smother, yelled, Monster!

"Who are you?", she inquired, narrowing her eyes at me though nobody could deny her hands shaking like a leaf in the wind.

I forced a cold laugh, trying at what Charlie instructed me to do. I wasn't born a natural actor, but I was mediocre enough for the facade to seem real. "Does it matter?"

"I guess not," she admitted.

"Exactly," I agreed, twirling my weapons around my hand, trying to be casual, just to show I wasn't nervous and that I could win her in a heartbeat. Inside, I was believing in the complete opposite.

She changed the subject. "Why am I not dead, right now?"

"Because I don't feel like killing right now," I answered nonchalantly. "Good for you."

She narrowed her eyes. For a Career, there wasn't supposed to be a time when we don't feel like killing. I was, of course, the condemned exception.

I gave her a challenging look, daring her to ask me. God, was it hard to muster.

She shrank back; she knew what we were like. "Then...Thank you."

I forced out a bitter laugh and, remembering the reason I went there anyway, held out my hand. "Give me the knives."

The girl raised her eyes to glare at me again. I met it with a glare of my own. "I said, Give it!"

"But I need them...to keep my younger, incapable brother alive." Realizing something, she added, "For as long as I can."

My heart softened, and so did my expression, I'm willing to bet. She'll just come back to haunt and hurt you, I warned myself.

She seems sincere, I argued.

Rolling my eyes at my own jumbled thinking, I took all the knives from her hands, suit, and the wall, all the while freezing her in place with a warning scowl. Finally coming to a conclusion, I turned and walk away, leaving two behind.

Weakling!, my head screamed.

I winced and ignored it.

Footsteps behind me. Undoubtedly the girl's.

What if it isn't? I couldn't ignore the prickling on my back, my subconsciousness waiting for a weapon to strike.

Nonsense. You're safe.

Really?

"Wait!", the girl called.

It was the girl. Breathing a sigh of relief, I turned back around. "What?", I snapped, irritated.

"I...Thank you."

I shrugged, not trusting myself to speak. Realizing she was waiting for a spoken answer, I took a deep breath and muttered, "No problem. Don't tell anyone of this."

She nodded earnestly.

You would trust her to do something like that?, my brain screamed. Foolish actions.

Shush.

Then, deciding to be sure, I added, "We'll all die if anyone found out. And if you or your brother is alive after that and I am, I'll come after you myself."

"What's your name, anyway?", I asked, deciding to ask at the last moment. I didn't know why I said it.

Don't form any ties!

I won't. We'll never see each other again after this anyway.

"I'm Riley," the girl replied, staring at me with honest eyes.

She's so young. And trusts too easily. A part of me was tempted to betray that little inkling of trust she placed in me for letting her go.

You will do no such thing.

Taking a deep breath, as if gathering herself, she inquired, timidly, "What's your name?"

You shouldn't tell her.

Why shouldn't I? It won't matter anyway.

If she knew you were a Career, you'll have danger hanging over your heads now that she knows you're such a big threat.

She already knows I'm a Career.

She might beg for you letting her go.

I couldn't deny that but telling her my name wouldn't spur the action either.

Finally deciding, I sighed and said, "Bella."

"Thank you... Bella," was her only response as she turned and bounded away into the forest.

I turned to walk away and almost crashed into the bulky chest of James. I looked up, right into his furious and merciless expression. Ice spread through my veins, traveling along with the blood, turning me into an ice statue, frozen with fear. Riley didn't have to tell anyone.

Horror slammed into me as I thought of Riley and her brother, what James would do to them when he finds them after I'm dead and incapable of stopping him. They'll die anyway. You'll just die first. And even if you survived the next 10 minutes to an hour, you'll never be able to stop him.

Guilt crushed my chest. I saved those siblings, gave them some time, only to make them suffer an even worse death. Normal Careers weren't known for giving merciful, quick and painless deaths. Unfortunately for all of us, James wasn't an exception, unlike me.

I'm sorry, I thought, hoping they could but knowing they couldn't hear me.

"You have to prove your worth to us!", demanded a voice behind me. I whirled around, landing myself face to face with Victoria, who stared at me with those cunning eyes of her.

I don't want to. In panic, I turned to Jacob, hoping he would shake his head, show his disapproval. But Jacob nodded. He's expression said it all. You have to.

I know I do. I wish I have another choice.

I looked at her, faking curiosity although, inside, I was seething. What kind of evil thing are you going to make me do? 

One way to find out.

"How?"

She smiled that sadistic smile. "By killing the Tanners."

My blood ran cold with horror.

Edward's POV

I sprinted with vampire speed towards the forest. Get out of her sight! Get out! I stopped at the edge of the circle and watched, slinking deeper into the shadows. 

I'm such a coward.

What can I do?, I thought miserably. Talk to her? Say that I'm better than him and she should choose me over him and be with me?

Being raised in the 1900's, I couldn't imagine doing that. That's really impolite and tactless and. . .

Okay, okay. I don't need a run-down on all the things that would make me into in more of a monster.

I watched, unable to do anything, as she confronted the girl at the knives. Their thoughts were like their dialogue and I watched Bella let the little girl go. Hope bloomed in my chest. Not as Career as I thought her to be. 

I was so focused on Bella that I didn't noticed James until Bella did. Hope disappeared faster than the blink of an eye. Oh no. If I have to stop him, I'll be revealed. And she would hate me. And my family will get killed. And everything will be horrible.

But gladly, she got out of it. With the promise of killing the brother and sister. I felt the air go out of my lungs in relieve. No, she wouldn't die. Not today. 

For a second, I considered killing the two myself. But I chose not to. I swore an oath to Carlisle. And the Careers would probably punish her for not getting there in time. 

So I receded in to the shadows and watched as she trembled in horror, staring at her hands. 

Already imagining the blood staining them red. 

* * *

Author's Note:

Sorry to disappoint with such a short chapter and such a long wait. I know, I know, I was supposed to reveal why she was a disgrace to her District in this chapter. But I thought that it would be better it I revealed it in the next chapter. 

I was busy. Really busy. I had a few tests to prepare for and this scary speech waiting for me with its jaws open. 

Glass Sword, Cruel Crown, and Mockingjay Part 2 appeared on my doorstep and who could say no to those wonderful books and movies? 

While I was reading Glass Sword, I learned more about how to write-- dramatically, may I add-- and I'm cringing as I read my old chapters. I really need to edit them. Anyway, Glass Sword was written from one person's point of view and one person only. I realized that it would be a good idea and doesn't have to go in detail from three people's point of view. With that being said, the chapters will be shorter but I'll update a little more often. But please don't throw things at me if I don't update on time; I got the completely ingenious idea to start and continue writing about 10 books at a time. I'm so smart, right? So I have more to work on and has to split my time between 10 books now. 

I got into graphics too-- it's better to say, I got addicted to it-- and is constantly practicing and accidentally neglected writing.

I was also busy writing the Prologues, Prefaces, Chapter ones and twos of other books and working on improving my graphics skills because I thought that was also a good idea. I was forced to abandon my old books for a while. I've come back!

Anyway, I sorry to disappoint, thank you so much for reading, and I hope to see you on the next, soon-to-come (hopefully) update!


End file.
